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Guys I remember when l was so broken. I didn’t know that God loved me and no matter how much people told me he did I would not believe it. I thought I went too far and that it was impossible for him to move me even though I grew up in a Christian home.
One day, I went to a church conference and I was broken, lost, and I only wanted Jesus but I thought I went too far away from God so I believed that he would never want me. At this church conference I end up having an intense allergic reaction to peanut oil worse than ever before
I tried to get through it, take some allergy medicine, and pray. It would not go away. I literally threw up while at this conference I was so embarrassed and disappointed that I couldn’t get through it. I thought it was Gods way of telling me he didn’t want me, that I was
Impossible to love. I was convinced. I was an hour away from campus didn’t know the town at all and this lady offers to take me to urgent care because I would get there faster. I end up getting meds and we start to talk. I complain and I say
“The time that I try to get right with God, this happens” I was literally so heart broken. I thought Jesus would never love me. Then a year comes in and says I need to be transferred to the Er. The lady from the conference meets me at the Er with her 1 Yr old son and all
When we get to the Er she says “honey, as I was driving over here, I just hear God saying he loves you” like I legit did not believe it. And I asked “how do you know” and she says “he has so much love for you he’s a father, there’s nothing you can do to stop him from loving you.
In that moment I knew God was speaking through her. She started to just list off things that I was dealing with that I’ve never shared with anybody. So much hidden shame, and I start to spill out information that not even my mother knew.
This was the first time that I ever shared my story with anybody and I had no shame. But as I started to confess these things, I literally felt so shame and condemnation leave my body. For years I felt heaviness in my shoulders and in 3 hours of all disappeared.
I bonded with the lady faster than I ever have with anybody. Then I knew she was sent by God because she said “you know what’s crazy? A few weeks ago while I was leading a worship set, God showed me an image of me bonding with a girl at this conference and he didn’t see an image,
Of the exact person but I knew it was a girl. And you’re that girl! I was super excited I told everybody that was on the worship team and I was so excited!”
Just like that I knew that God hadn’t given up on me. I was afraid that God sent an angel to me or something and I’d never see her again. (I still text her lol). But I just want to say that there’s nothing you can do to superset you from the love of God.
