Alright, I said I was gonna do a twitter post explaining where I’ve been the past two days so here it is. Two day’s ago at like 8am I started to feel like I couldn’t breathe, like my chest was folding in on itself or like I was drowning.

Naturally I started to panic, called my mom and brother to watch me to make sure I didn’t faint because I was certain I was going to. This lasted an hour and a half, towards the end I was crying, couldn’t feel my hands or face and genuinely believed I was dying.

My body was so tense that I couldn’t make a fist, my fingers literally would not bend. I nearly went to the hospital because I thought my lungs were collapsing, I couldn’t stand straight, my whole body was shaking and my vision was so blurry it looked like it was raining inside.

After an hour and a half of this, I started to calm down. Things started to feel better, I could move again, my thoughts stopped racing and I was okay again. But ever since then adrenaline is affecting me very differently.

The smallest amount of adrenaline brings me right back to those feelings of being unable to breathe. The fear of it happening again is why I’ve taken these past two days off. I want to come back and start streaming ASAP but I really just need to ease into it these upcoming days.

What I think happened, is that I bottled up my stress too long. Not just apex related but accumulated stress from these past few years of my life, I think I hit limit and it all came out in the form of the worst panic attack I’ve ever had in my entire life.

All that being said, I’ll be easing back into streaming these next couple days starting with scrims at 6pm est, and then playing some chill variety games with my friends to unwind and just have fun. I think that’s the most important thing for me right now, just having fun again