Also the " if we hold white men accountable, they won& #39;t want to be our allies" line is really bad faith and if their allyship is so conditional that criticism and/accountability turns them off from it then they have the wrong motives. Allyship is not about rewards and good vibes
If your allyship is conditional on how much praise you received, you need re-assess why you think you& #39;re an ally at all.