Some mofo said this to me today: "You gold teeth, gold chain wearing, fried chicken, biscuit eating, monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast running, high jumping, spear chucking, three-hundred-sixty-degree basketball dunking, titsun, spade, Moulan Yan. go the fuck back to Africa."

So I said to him: "You dago-wop, guinea, garlic breath, pizza slinging, spaghetti bending, Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, non-singing motherfucker." He didn't like it. But then this other dude jumped in for some reason.

And you'll never believe what he said. But if I remember correctly, this is what he said verbatim, because my memory is that good..

He said, "You little slanty-eyed, me-no-speaky-American, own-every-fruit-and-vegetable-stand-in-New-York, bullshit, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Summer Olympics '88, Korean kick-boxing son of a bitch!" I looked at him, and said, wow, it's like that dude? I think he was a cop.

And then this other dude that I didn't know, decided to jump in and share his thoughts about whatever... I mean, who asked him? But this is what he said... for real...

"You Goya bean-eating, fifteen in a car, thirty in an apartment, pointed shoes, red-wearing, Menudo, mire-mire Puerto Rican cocksucker. Yeah, you!" I think he was cop. Fucking pigs!

Finally, this dude who looked like @SamuelLJackson steps into the mix, trying to be the mediator or, "The Negotiator," and this muthafucka says this: "YO! HOLD UP! Time out! TIME OUT! Y'all take a chill! Ya need to cool that shit out! And that's the double truth, Ruth!" Really?

Sigh. But, you know what, he's right. Some dude named Radio Raheem just walked by me, blasting something called "Fight the Power" by some group called Public Enemy. All is well now. Although there's something ominous about the outcome of the life of that Raheem dude. #Love wins!

Now I'm going to watch "The Night of the Hunter" on @criterionchannl. Ciao!

The end.