Friends, it’s Supreme Court week on the Nightly Nuance, and I am overflowing with nerdy enthusiasm. To get you ready for our review of their recent decisions, let’s do a brief review with Seinfeld gifs, obviously.

The Supreme Court exists under Article III of the Constitution. We have 9 justices - 8 associates and a Chief Justice. The # of justices isn’t in the Constitution. In 1801, Congress decided to have 5. Then 7. Then 9. Then 10. Then 7 again. Anyway…it’s been 9 since 1869.

There are no qualifications to be on the Court. Most people are Ivy-league educated lawyers. The President appoints; the Senate confirms. But you know that part.

Very few cases are entitled to Supreme Court review, so the Supreme Court gets to decide which cases it wants to hear.

Chief Justice John Roberts was appointed by George W. Bush in 2005. Sometimes we entertain the idea that he’s the new swing vote on the Court (sort of the new Justice Kennedy). I think it’s more accurate to say that he’s predictably conservative but pretends to be surprising.

Justice Clarence Thomas was appointed by G.H.W. Bush in 1991 after a hellish affair. He is definitely an 8 on the Enneagram and thinks the entire federal government has gone mad. His opinions are the judicial version of “burn it all down. So ordered.”

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was appointed by Bill Clinton in 1993. Aside from Kate McKinnon’s impression of her, you should know that she writes every-word-counts opinions that take no prisoners and include must-read footnotes.

Justice Stephen Breyer was appointed by Bill Clinton in 1994. Justice Breyer really loves words, even more than most lawyers, and he’ll spend 8 sentences on all the different meanings a single preposition could have depending on its context.

Justice Samuel Alito was appointed by George W. Bush in 2006 and honestly his opinions are so pedantic that I can hardly read them. No one enjoys statutory interpretation more, and it is…painful.

Justice Sonia Sotomayor was appointed by President Obama in 2009. She is the justice who most often says the thing that’s under the thing—usually her opinions reveal facts missing in others that make you say “OH that’s what’s actually going on.”

Justice Elena Kagan was appointed by President Obama in 2010. She has the best written poker face on the Court. Her opinions are quite scholarly. She often, though, will end up with a vote you don’t understand and doesn’t feel compelled to offer any explanation.

Justice Neil Gorsuch was appointed by President Trump in 2017. I think he and Justice Ginsburg are the best writers on the Court. His opinions are often biting and more casual than the other justices. And he presents his analysis as though you'd have to be an idiot to disagree.

Justice Kavanaugh…well you know about that. Anyway. He seems to always need to file his own opinion, is a terrible writer compared to the rest of the bench, and is tripping all over himself this term to establish some kind of expertise on when to overturn precedent.

The Court’s recent opinions have been a little chaotic. They’re all important. And we’re going to dive into them on Patreon, beginning tomorrow with the Clean Water Act case. Get excited!