Someday a musical will be made based on the comments section of this Sondheim 90th Birthday concert live stream which is now 15 minutes late and counting

Here's the first song:

I want to know who this person thinks they're scamming and what they get out of the scam. This is the villain song.

Act 1 closer: reveal that the live stream is running late because Sondheim is tangled up in some harnesses in his dungeon