eliot is a queer man, who grew up in an abusive household, he experienced years of homophobic abuse. as a result of that trauma he has a substance abuse problem, a deep fear of intimacy and a whole lot of self worth issues that come from experiencing years of abuse. he has a

tendency towards deeply self destructive behavior and a disregard for his own safety that can be interpreted as suicidal behavior.
his entire character arc was about learning to be honest with himself and others about what he feels, unlearning the typical fears of abuse victims

that intimacy and honesty will result in punishment or pain, accepting that his own desire for love and friendship are not something he has to be terrified of, that he is deserving of love and kindness and that it is ok for him to accept these things when they are offered.

a lot of those realizations revolved around his relationship and his love for quentin. his desire to be in a relationship with quentin.
something that he DENIED HIMSELF, despite wanting it, when quentin first expressed his desire to be with eliot. turning quentin away is

canonically eliot's "biggest regret".
not only is eliot's confession and apology to memory!quentin incredibly important character development, but the fact that eliot deeply regrets his own self destructive behavior and wishes he would have made a different decision in that

moment shows his own desire to heal, to face his fears because he wants to experience love and intimacy with a romantic partner. that is a HUGE step for any abuse victim!

the fact that he was not only denied the chance to ever say the things he wanted to tell quentin, but also the opportunity to be happy with quentin AND the opportunity to actually tell anyone about the huge personal loss he experienced with quentin's death, both in regards to

quentin as his friend and romantic partner but also in regard towards his own growth and healing is just BREATHTAKINGLY CRUEL!

to dangle the opportunity for all those things he desperately wants for himself, things he denied himself as a result of the cruelty he experienced early in life right in front of his nose and then snatch them away without warning and condemn him to silence about the true extent

of tragedy he just experienced.

what happens to eliot in s4 and s5 is both so cruel that it takes my breath away and also in fact homophobic writing!