➵ the adventure zone: balance livetweet thread

disclaimer: ive already heard the full series twice this is just a relisten, aight. lets go.

the character introductions are gonna destroy me and we all know it

“ive never played in my entire life” we know, clint, we know.

OH FUCK ME

“i will give you a fake ingame dog, but you have to show me you can take care of it” GRIFFIN. YOURE A FUCKING LIAR.

im playing a human fighter named Magnus Burnsides

i just broke down

“ARE YOU NAMING YOUR GODDAMN WIZARD TAAKO?!”

“MY GOAL FOR THIS ADVENTURE IS TO INVENT THE TACO.” FUCK.

the way. the fuckinng way griffin managed to pull together these stupid fucking things theyre saying in the FIRST EVER EPISODE and bring them back for the finale im gonna bawl

idk when the first “magnus rushes in” happens but i know its gna ruin me and i just wanna say that Now

rustic hospitality..

worth mentioning rn before we get in too deep that im a dirty little magnus stannie ok hes everything to me and all i truly care about

also . lowkey? a taagnus shipper. it might come up every now and again. i can only apologise.

not them going So Hard over the 5e rules when theyre gonna abandon them about 30 seconds into the actual game

people who play 5e and follow every single rule to the t are boring there i said it

the 5e rules are. at best. guidelines.

“you specialise in healing” does he, griffin? are you sure? are you s u r e?

taako starts out naked its canon

dicks out for taako

how long does it take for them to abandon spell slots entirely

griffin literally just said “theres a resource called inspiration” while going over basic game rules and i got fucking chills so bad i

i forgot about magnus’s family heirloom knife. as did magnus.

me travis
forgetting abt mag’s
family knife

“how did your characters meet?”
“on craig’s list”

i hate this podcast

god its been sso fucking long since ive heard the early episodes like. at Least a year. its almost like hearing some of it for the first time

AH. THE SWEET, BLISSFUL IRONY OF CLINT TELLING GRIFFIN TO DO CHARACTER VOICES. AH.

I FORGOT MERLES DEITY WASNT PAN AT FIRST-

sorry dwyn

can we get an early big fat F in the chat for phandalin

ah , merles Canon cousin gundren rockseeker

magnus having vehicle proficiency is the only proof we need that he tops

B A R R Y B L U E J E A N S

BARRY FUCKING BLUEJEANS

I FUCKING FORGOT HOW EARLY HE WAS INTRODUCED AND I MIGHT START CRYING

taako: im in the back with the goods

magnus: and im driving

magnus tops taako bottoms and those two sentences are all the proof u need bay bee.

“roll to masturbate” I DO NOT LIKE THIS PODCAST.

though “studying my cantrips” is a truly incredible euphamism

THEIR FIRST INITIATIVE ROLL... FUCK.

THEIR FIRST K I L L!!!!!!! im Weeping

i forgot the first episode was two hours long but fuck i loved every second

CLAARG

“YOU THREW MY WOLF IN THE FIRE!!”

“YOU SHOULDNT HAVE HAD YOUR DOG JUMP UP MY ASS”

“...I DONT THINK MY DOG COULD FIT IN AN ASS”

“YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THIS ASS!”

(taako, in the background) “I HAVE!”

magnus and klaarg hugging? yes i wish i was klaarg

THE JACK OFF CAVE

episode 4 lets go

I MISS KLAARG TOO, BOYS

not to be deep but them doing a whole Bit about how awkward taako merle and magnus are around eachother, and how they Dont know eachother nd theyre just coworkers?? that hurts it Hurts

KILLIAN KILLIAN KILLIAN KILLIAN

THERES MY FUNKY LITTLE LESBIAN ORC

i Love her

god i say this a lot but. Imagine being one of the people to have a taz character named after you its.. fucking wild

WAIT HAVE THEY REPLACED ALL THE OLD ADS WITH TRAVIS READING ADS DURING A GRADUATION EPISODE-

IT MAKES SENSE THAT THEYD WANT NEW AND USABLE ADS BUT ITS CUT COMPLETELY WRONG?? THEYVE GOT THE MERCH AD FIRST... WHICH IS AN AD FOR GRADUATION MERCH WHICH NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND, THEN THEYVE GOT THE BRAND ADS, AND T H E N THE CLIP OF TRAVIS INTRODUCING THE ADS AFTER?

WHO CUT THIS TOGETHER HDHDHDD

“can i roll to see if this is a fetish of mine?” me

MAGIC B R I A NNNNNNNN

taako tryna fuck magic brian

not griffin confusing beetlejuice and rumplestiltskin

taako and brian calling eachother darling in their stupid ridiculous voices is exhausting and i love it

WE'VE STARTED WITH THE CRACKLING BOYS. THE VOIDFISH IS H E R E.

i totally forgot that we have to deal with the crackling for the next like 60 episodes

taako and magic brian shooting magic missile's at one another... beautiful. we love to see it.

IMAGINE IF TAAKO JUST. DIED HERE. IF JUSTIN JUST FAILED THE DEATH SAVING THROWS AND TAAKO DIED HERE IN A CAVE AT THE HANDS OF FUCKING MAGIC BRIAN

AHHTH THE FUCK WHA TH E FUCK WHAT THE FUCK TAHTS. THAST GAY

"i rush to the side by my beloved taako, and i say 'this may be a little cheesy, but i can't let you go' and then i pour the potion between his lips"
im fucking weeping. i am weeping. i understand that it's a bit so taako can add to the taco recipe but . fuck me. taagnus rights.

"ABRACA FUCK YOU!"

ive just realised i might have to do a seperate livetweet thread for each arc bc otherwise this thread is gonna go Crazy

"zat is a BAD BOY. he is a bad boy! with all kinds of sinister magicks!"