my mom's family was dedicated to caring for their elders. my great grandmother was born in 1887; died in her home in 1989 at 102. she lived on the mill village; her 4 room house cost her $2 a month in rent till the day she died. two. dollars.

everyone visited big mama's house. https://twitter.com/Chris_arnade/status/1254201700833001472

Big Mama was around 90 in this pic. (I'm the girl in green; my brother is navy/white striped izod )

the mill houses had large living rooms – built to accommodate caskets, before funeral homes were a thing.

Big with the great grands, and a great great grand.

Big Mama's hair was always in a bun. my aunt swears she never had a haircut. her hair went all the way to the floor when she sat for a hair brushing, or a good combing after a shampooing. everyone wanted to see her with her hair down, but we were always shooed away.

a lot of my mom's family lived on the mill village when I was young. I spent a lot of time there in the summer. Big Mama's was the best house to go to when I was fighting with my cousins, or to take a break from the heat on the front; I liked the swing, she preferred her rocker.

shift change was at 4. people walked toward the mill, lunch bags in hand; those who got off work headed the opposite direction, some stopped to chat, others waved from the street. my crazy uncle always stopped by, God love him, always too loud & too spirited.

Big's grands.

the porch was large and shaded – 20° cooler than out in the sun – with 2 or 3 rocking chairs, and a porch swing on either end. I liked the wooden swing, the metal one hurt my legs. there were straps tied to the porch rail so you could pull yourself to swing.

Big Mama made quilts for all her brood – 50+ quilts after age 80. she was 82 when I was born. she said the worst thing in her life was having to bury her children. I don't know how many she buried; hell, I don't know how many she gave birth to. 10, maybe 11?

Hewlitt, Eudon, Hubert, May Dell, Imogene, Lexie and Big Mama. (and Jesus)

2 had passed. Beulah and Herman.

(all these pics look to be circa 1978 btw. )

there were some still births, but the first of her living children to die was Herman, in fall of 1921. he was 3. he was his siblings' favorite. he fell into a bucket of hot potash running into the house when he wasn't supposed to. he suffered for 2 days.

potash was used for cleaning. Big Mama was cleaning the floors; the kids were banned from the house.

she was a tough woman, but 60+ years later, you could see that tragic accident still caused her heart to ache.

I passed a lot of time gazing at this picture of Herman in Big Mama's living room. my grandfather (Hubert - "Hoss") didn't have a sentimental bone in his body – he didn't want anything when his mother died – but he knew I wanted this photo.

it still makes me crave watermelon.

Big Mama didn't like to talk about herself, so we don't know a lot about her childhood. I do know she and her sister (Big Sister, of course!) took a doll to work so they could play during break. the turn of the 20th century, little girls working long hours in textile mills.

by the time child labor laws came to the South in the 1910s, she was married to Fitch, growing cotton, and raising little workers. in the 20s, boll weevils bankrupted them; they boarded a train and left the farm behind. and that's how Big Mama ended up in the house I remember.

my mom grew up across the back alley from Big Mama. one night my grandfather was drunk and got real ugly with my grandmother. Big Mama showed up with The Strap and put an end to that.

Hoss quit drinking shortly thereafter and became the sweet grandfather I loved.

The Strap was a leather strap Fitch used on their kids. It was legendary. (so much so, it worked on grown men, too!) my mom's brother asked if he could have The Strap for his antiques collection…

but Big Mama had burned it; said she hated memories of whipping her children.

when she was 95 or so, Big Mama fell in her pantry one night and broke her hip. she laid there all night. after that, a family member always slept over. she still got around, but she did more front porch rocking than raking and burning and gardening and quilting.

I had a great grandmother for 20 years. I wish I'd bothered to get to know her better, but I can't imagine life without the memories. 20 Thanksgivings, summer watermelon cuttings & homemade ice cream… I could do a thread on just the porch gatherings.

treasure your elders.