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This thread is for the purpose of giving my dear sisters a sincere bit of counsel that I've given many times to individual men:

If you are single and noticeably overweight or obese, your number one priority, both spiritual and temporal, *must* be to get in shape. #DezNat

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I'm not saying this because I think being overweight is a great moral failing, or because I hate fat people, or to make fun of them.

I'm saying it because it's true, and because if you take it to heart it will *change your life*.

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How many times do I hear someone say, "My friend/daughter/sister just never seems to get asked out," followed by a ritual denunciation of feckless young men?

And how many times is the woman in question 30+ pounds overweight?

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"Wow, guys like skinny girls, very profound."

Let me put it another way: If you are single and noticeably overweight, this is *the single biggest obstacle to you being able to marry in the temple and raise children in the Church.*

Are you listening now?

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"Are you saying fat girls don't deserve celestial marriage?"

No, I'm saying that the reality is they are far less likely to obtain it. If you don't believe me compare the women who got married from your YSA ward last year v the ones that didn't."

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Again, lest you think I'm just blaming the victim for kicks, let me tell you something:

I have four sisters. All have had weight problems ranging from "kinda chunky" to severely obese. None are married in the temple. None are married to a guy who didn't knock them up first.

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I was a front row spectator to their spiritual journeys, and I can tell you that if they had been able to attract the attention of active LDS men, 3 of the 4 would probably have happily married in the temple. As it is only one is even active.

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We don't talk about this as a people because it makes you sound like a total jerk, or makes fat people feel like outcasts. But it's like we're letting people LARP as eligible singles when their chances of marrying are very slim, and no one is giving it to them straight.

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"You think I don't know how hard it is to date as a fat girl?"

I don't know what you know. What I know is that, if you are single and noticeably overweight, and your no. 1 focus in life is your job/friends/school, or going on a mission, your priorities are screwed up.

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"I've tried to lose weight."

Have you tried taking a semester off from school or quitting your job to work on it full time? This is how dead serious I am about No. 1 priority.

You'll put everything on hold for 1.5 yrs for a mission, but not for a temple marriage?

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"You don't know how hard it is to lose a lot of weight."

I sure as hell do. DM me for details.

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"Not all guys care about weight/my friend is fat and she got married."

In other words, exceptions disprove the rule, right? Look around you. The supply of overweight single women (and men) greatly exceeds demand.

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"Latter-day Saint men should care more about a woman's spirituality than her weight."

There isn't anything magical about fat women that makes them more spiritual. You are competing (yes) with women who are also active in the gospel but are not overweight.

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"My weight is a result of my depression/anxiety and you aren't helping."

You cannot wake up in the morning and decide "I will not be depressed today." You can, however, decide "no matter how I feel emotionally, I will work out and eat right." Gotta start somewhere.

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I would never trivialize your challenges. I know that this is VERY VERY HARD. It's because I know how hard it is that I don't believe it can be a 2nd or 3rd place priority. If it isn't number 1, you will fail.

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But something funny happens when you make losing weight your number 1 priority: the other stuff sorta takes care of itself.

Your career is more successful when you aren't overweight. Your emotions improve. Your relationships improve.

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That's probably enough for now. Again, the DMs are open, but since you are single I believe the JP rule means you need your father's permission.