Read on Twitter
I’m at that point where, I get mistreated and feel sad but I can’t allow myself to feel sad because my inner voice be like “all this pain you feel is self inflicted, let go” & “you’ve gotta be the bigger person” while my ego be like “it’s so unfair. I gotta stand up for myself”
Then I be like “why does it always have to be me taking initiative to fix things with the same people who hurt me” while my heart be like “beloved show compassion they’re struggling they don’t know any better” and my ego be like “IM STRUGGLING TOO”. Then my brain explodes and
my thoughts race and get so jumbled up I can’t even meditate. Then I get angry and I be fuming. Then I miss my unhealthy escapist habits that I’ve broken free from and then I’m like awww, why did I have to do better and become better. Then I’m like “hey stop it you’ve come a long
way, don’t speak down on it”. So then I keep quiet and suppress that meanwhile my mind is like “
you really gon suppress more shit & add to your shadow when all you do EVERYDAY is try heal from other shit. ” then I be like 
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Then my heart be like “but
you really gon suppress more shit & add to your shadow when all you do EVERYDAY is try heal from other shit. ” then I be like I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. Then my heart be like “but
beloved, all that you seek is within you” then I be like UGHHHHHHH . I just wanna feel these emotions without feeling bad because I’m meant to know better. So I can release them and then move forward. Then my mind be like “you are not these emotions. Just observe them & release”
and then I feel powerless and trapped which then triggers me and the wounds I’m trying to heal from and also reminds me of the stuff I’m going through now. So then I cry & end up in front of the mirror where I slap myself quiet.Fall to the bathroom floor & post this on Twitter
I just need a hug. 
Oh well. End of thread.
Oh well. End of thread.
