Told my mother I don't want to get married and I've opened a can of worms I wish I'd left closed. Fuck.

Oh Dear God why

"if you're sick who's going to take care of you?"

My dear unless the woman you want me to marry is a medical professional, I'm calling an ambulance

"You know when you were young you used to like going to jewellery shops and say how you were going to buy that ring for your wife?"

Ma'am I was 8. I was young and stupid. (to be fair I'm STILL young and stupid, but with no intention of being dribbled again)

"and then what about when you want more children?"

"what about it?"

"You want to impregnate girls without marrying them?"

Bold of you to assume they want to marry me

"What about your girlfriend?"

my what

I think my mother assumes there's scores of women falling over each other to be with me. My dear, you should take "a face only a mother could love" literally. And even then it's a bit shaky