When you are suffering from #ImposterSyndrome, having a dream about being called out as a fake is one of the worst nightmares you can have.

I woke up in cold sweat this morning and wondered how much of it was real, especially since the dream was a continuation of recent one.

The #DefensivePessimist in me can't just brush it off saying "oh, it was just a dream". What if it happens in real life? What if what you believed was a genuine gesture gets called out as totally fake (with data to prove it), and therefore nothing but a "gesture"?

This leads to my #QOTD:
How does one know that they are indeed being genuine?

This may not be the answer, but just a result of my tired brain processing this thought this morning with a cup of coffee and a bowl of fresh fruit.

My manager (true dev at heart) always talks about how "continuous validation" is so important, and we need to remember to do it.

I believe this is true for humans as well. For humans, it would mean sensing whether you are on the right track.

Being sensitive to the reactions of people. And by that, I mean, just LISTENING ALL THE TIME.

How are they feeling? Do others agree? Is there a positive vibe?

And if you aren't getting any signals from them, just a simple "how are we feeling right now?" is a good start.

But here's the catch.

Asking is one thing - getting a true answer isn't easy either.

I know people in positions of authority who claim to ask that same "check-in" question WHILE professing they are being vulnerable, but they take actions that SHUT DOWN honest responses from people, whether intentional or not. It's quite easy to do.

I hope I NEVER do that.

To get honest responses from people requires that you withhold your own opinions for as LONG AS POSSIBLE, while practicing #activeListening.

But a lot of us are biased to action, so that's really hard to do.

This is where you have to remember to #remainCurious.