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I'm approaching 23 and I am beginning to see more and more signs of early ageing (is there such a thing?) Fine lines, more grey hairs (got my first at 18). Why am I bringing this up...?
23 is not old. If we discount the awkward phases in my life, I'm still probably -5yo. But society has conditioned me to cover all of it with dye and makeup.
To be honest, I can't be asked anymore. These things are expensive and time-consuming, not to mention toxic.
To be honest, I can't be asked anymore. These things are expensive and time-consuming, not to mention toxic.
I look at my mum, who even during lockdown feels an obligation to dye her hair. Since she can't go to a stylist anymore, she has been doing it at home. She was very proud to tell me she has saved so much money. She also told me she has another box I can use.
And saying I want to keep my natural colour shocked her.
'Don't you want to look put together?'
At first, this was a bit hurtful. Did she not think I look good enough? But then I realised she has succumbed to the pressure when she was my age and has forgotten the alternative.
'Don't you want to look put together?'
At first, this was a bit hurtful. Did she not think I look good enough? But then I realised she has succumbed to the pressure when she was my age and has forgotten the alternative.
I used to dye my hair red in university. I once asked my boyfriend to help me get the bits on the back of my head. Despite the open window, we both almost suffocated from the fumes.
My mum is a cancer survivor. The chemicals in these dyes put her at higher risk of getting it again. And being a doctor, she fully understands the risks. Yet she would rather look 'nice' than cut those risks out. Doesn't this sound crazy for anyone?
Now, don't get me wrong. Changing any aspect of your body because you want to is fine. It's your prerogative.
But doing it because you feel obligated, because you feel inadequate or because you feel people will think less of you if you don't... that's messed up.
But doing it because you feel obligated, because you feel inadequate or because you feel people will think less of you if you don't... that's messed up.
It doesn't help that our celebrity culture influences girls (and boys!) with this mentality from a really young age.
Besides the risks these 'beauty' standards pose to our health, they also hurt our confidence and ability to focus on what truly matters.
Besides the risks these 'beauty' standards pose to our health, they also hurt our confidence and ability to focus on what truly matters.
As I age, my body changes. I have a woman's body. Someday (God willing) I am going to have a mother's body. These 'age' marks represent me and how far I've come. I lived beyond 20. What a blessing! Why would I want to look like my 20yo self when I am 30?
It's 2020. Isn't in finally time we accept ageing as a natural process in our lives? If nothing else, it's the one thing we can predict about the future. I find the passing of time and the inevitable changes it brings to be comforting. I look forward to it.
