I'm watching #TheRiseofSkywalker with audio description turned on because that's just how I roll. It's very funny - the narrator sounds exhausted from the non-stop description that's required to convey the sheer madness of it all.

Re-watching the movie is just reminding me of how beautiful Kylo is. THE PAIN.

Aaargh the banter with Rey, Poe (especially Poe!) and Finn is so tedious. I can't believe they thought that stuff was one of the strengths if the movie. It just feels so forced.

Poor Oscar Isaac for having to deliver that "somehow, Palpatine has returned" dialogue. Absolutely brutal.

Of all the offensive stuff in #TheRiseofSkywalker, the most shameless and cruel moment in the entire film is Finn giving Rose that pat on the shoulder. Disgusting.

(And to be clear, I feel that way because it doesn't just screw over the character - it's also ruthlessly dismissive of Kelly Marie Tran and her contribution to the sequel trilogy. That's what I can't stand.)

To say something nice, I do appreciate the scene in the conference room. I will never get enough of Kylo baiting Hux, especially when it's accompanied by large numbers of prim officers producing buckets of nervous sweat.

I also really love the Festival of the Ancestors and the Aki-Aki. All the stuff with Rey and the Aki-Aki children is lovely, and beautifully performed by Daisy and the creature performers. (Though seeing Rey say "just Rey" makes me sad, and not for the reasons intended.)

Slightly controversially, I really like most of the Rey and Kylo/Ben stuff in the film, even when they're both posturing and repeating old lines from #TheForceAwakens. Rey throwing "we'll see" back at Kylo tickles me in the best way.

The depiction of Finn in this film is such a waste. He exists solely in Rey's orbit - if he's not pining after her, he's chasing her and shouting her name. Finn deserved a real story of his own.

Rey calming and healing the serpent is a really beautiful sequence, and shows just how well J.J. can do Star Wars when he allows a scene to breathe. So many of the problems with #TheRiseofSkywalker can be traced back to the frenetic pacing.

I love that when we first saw the aerial footage of the Knights of Ren standing on that rock in a TV spot, everyone felt it screamed boyband vibes. As it turns out, boyband members have more substance and purpose.

Kylo's whole aesthetic in this film is peak Byronic magnificence. There should be such a thing as too beautiful to die.

"Finn, there are things you don’t know."

"Tell me."

"I had a vision. Of the throne of the Sith. And who was on it."

"Ren."

"And me."

I love this, but it's also hilarious. I presume there must be such a thing as a throne built for two? How romantic.

Rey showing compassion to Dio and seemingly bonding with him other their shared trauma is a lovely moment, but it again hints at lost potential. There's a lot of acknowledgement of trauma here, but no actual wrestling with or evolving beyond it.

Babu-Frik and Zorri are both great additions to the Star Wars galaxy. I'd like more stories with them, especially if that means we actually get to see Keri Russell's face.

Three officers each delivering a single line of a brief report to Kylo reminds me of newsreaders sharing alternating lines of a script. The First Order could probably do with some restructuring.

I kind of love Rey habitually wandering off from her friends because the pull to Kylo is just that strong. You can't deny the truth that is ... Reylo.

Kylo's chambers are ludicrous. I kind of love how impractical and nonsensical they are.

Hux yelling "I'M THE SPY" is the comedic Mt Everest of the sequel trilogy. Genuinely hilarious. I love the idea of him betraying all his principles purely to spite for Ren. You know he'd be that bitch.

I couldn't hate what Kylo is saying in this scene more, but I also couldn't love how Kylo looks here more. Consider me conflicted.

This shot of Rey is beautiful.

Audio description of Dominic Monaghan - "a bearded rebel". Succinct, accurate and rather funny.