Making a baby!
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, & #39;Well, I& #39;m off now. The man should be here soon.& #39;

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. & #39;Good morning, Ma& #39;am& #39;, he said, & #39;I& #39;ve come to, & #39;

& #39;Oh, no need to explain,& #39; Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, & #39;I& #39;ve been expecting you.& #39;

& #39;Have you really?& #39; said the photographer. & #39;Well, that& #39;s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?& #39;

& #39;Well that& #39;s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat& #39;.

After a moment she asked, blushing, & #39;Well, where do we start?& #39;

& #39;Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.& #39;

& #39;Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn& #39;t work out for Harry and me!& #39;

& #39;Well, Ma& #39;am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I& #39;m sure you& #39;ll be pleased with the results.& #39;

& #39;My, that& #39;s a lot!& #39;, gasped Mrs. Smith.

& #39;Ma& #39;am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I& #39;d love to be In and out in five minutes, but I& #39;m sure you& #39;d be disappointed with that.& #39;

& #39;Don& #39;t I know it,& #39; said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures.

& #39;This was done on the top of a bus,& #39; he said.

& #39;Oh, my God!& #39; Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

& #39;And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.& #39;

& #39;She was difficult?& #39; asked Mrs. Smith.

& #39;Yes, I& #39;m afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look& #39;

& #39;Four and five deep?& #39; said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

& #39;Yes& #39;, the photographer replied. & #39;And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,

I just had to pack it all in.& #39;

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. & #39;Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh, equipment? & #39;

& #39;It& #39;s true, Ma& #39;am, yes, Well, if you& #39;re ready, I& #39;ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.& #39;

& #39;Tripod?& #39;

& #39;Oh yes, Ma& #39;am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It& #39;s much too big to be held in the hand very long.& #39;

Mrs. Smith fainted.