I have 14 pairs of glasses. FOURTEEN! Allow me to introduce you. A thread.

These are my classic Ray-Bans. They are the most expensive pair I own (and they aren't that pricey).

BEST FOR literally any outfit or occasion. These are my ride-or-die

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These are my imitation Ray-Bans. These were really inexpensive. They are very lightweight. The thick plastic temples make them pretty comfortable.

BEST FOR Working in the newsroom by day and fighting crime by night

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The Clark Kent-ey pair above were so inexpensive that I bought the exact same pair in a brighter color. I have not worked up the nerve to wear these in public yet.

BEST FOR being the eccentric unemployed half of a gay couple on HOUSE HUNTERS

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These are blue light blockers. They sit on my nightstand and I wear them in the evenings.

BEST FOR going down an embarrassing rabbit hole of cyberstalking a TikTok celeb after 2am. You may be obsessive or insane, but at least the blue light is blocked!

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One of two clear pairs that I own. These are Ray-Bans.

BEST FOR getting people to say, "Oh! Are those new glasses?"

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This is my other clear frames. They are the cheaper version of the previous. They are very very light.

BEST FOR starting a YouTube channel about taking care of succulent plants

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This is a lot of look. I know. I bought these while in quarantine, so I've yet to wear them in public.

BEST FOR grabbing a Chipotle burrito near campus wearing a college hoodie. "Don't I know you from my political science class?"

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The color doesn't pick up, but these are a brown tortoiseshell pair.

BEST FOR hiking the Appalachian Trail while wearing an LL Bean backpack, a bright Colombia windbreaker, and a sensible denim

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The only wire-frames in my collection.

BEST FOR asking strangers in the park if they can help you find your lost puppy. "He was just here a minute ago. Let's go check by my van."

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The front of this frame is tortoiseshell and the temples are turquoise.

BEST FOR a plain outfit. Now sit down and shut up. These glasses do the talking

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This pair gets a lot of wear. I went cheap and skipped the anti-glare and I regret that.

BEST FOR doing that thing you do

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Large and in charge, this pair covers a large area of my face.

BEST FOR wizard school

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There's nothing too special about these. I sort of got them as a back-up just in case something ever happens to my Ray-Bans.

BEST FOR when you want to give the pressure points of your favorite pairs a rest

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The color is hard to see in the photo, but these are a really muted gray and peach color. The plastic is frosted and mellow too.

BEST FOR searching for the Holy Grail that you eventually discover is inside Pankot Palace, a stunning fortification in Jaipur India

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