It's going to take quite a lot of work to prevent myself from telling people off for telling people they're grieving wrong.

Read this, practice this. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/death-and-dying_b_4329830 by @refugeingrief

Don't tell someone you know how they feel about the death of their person, whoever that person was to them. You don't know. Your experiences differ.

More than anything - and this goes for most situations - people need us to listen. Listen only. Without judgement, advice, personal history or opinions. Unless specifically asked for any of those. Apparently this is hard for a lot of people to do; it is what most are missing.