I joined twitter ot talk about this because chris is my friend. https://twitter.com/lizcourserants/status/1252765834272964609

Chris has been harassed relentlessly because of this stuff, so I felt the need to speak about this. I am NOT going to defend their actions, but I will say this. I believe in the bottom of my heart Chris does not want to harm real kids, as they are a csa survivor themselves.

Chris is not perfect. What they did is wrong. Even Chris has accepted this fact. They very recently made a card with a dni section that talks about it.

Chris and I have been friends for a VERY long time. how long? I've been a penpal/fandom friend/etc. with Chris since they were a minor, and I know the part of Chris's life the worst of the "problematic" writing they did came from.

I think I should give some extra context reguarding the mistakes Chris has made, because I feel it's important.

I think it bears mentioning Chris has gotten in trouble in fandom spaces, specifically rp spaces, before from the other end of the spectrum, by that I mean Chris would seek out rp containing kink/coping material/etc/ when they were under 18

This is a whole other can of worms from the current situation, but Chris has always greatly struggled with social awareness, knowing who they should or shouldn't interact with, and practicing safe online fandom activity.

Chris would regularly play out kink and coping material and shipping and stuff with people who could get in trouble for interacting with them when they were a minor coping and using fandom as a community to belong to.

Chris has that unique cocktail of being autistic, a abuse survivor, and never had great success with therapy. they have been abused by therapists more often than helped. This is why they bought into certain posts on tumblr that therapists are ableist and resisted going for years.

As Chris got older, I think after a long time being mired in self-loathing trying to "fit in" in toxic spaces, Chris always came back to fandom because that's the only place they fit in. It does not surprise me at all they came out as trans and openly embraced queerness.

HOWEVER, Chris is not perfect. Chris makes rather major mistakes when it comes to recognizing what is healthy and appropriate expression, and what is hurtful.

I think the incidents where they ended up in roleplays with minors were not intentional on their part. They are very lonely, and will accept love and attention to anyone who will give it.

This is a mistake Chris needs to learn from, without a doubt. I have told them as much. Chris doesn't take stock of social situations and stuff and misprocesses information all of the time.

Chris is notoriously bad at things like numbers and memory. this is how those who have called them out, both people who are ligitimiately concerned by their behavior, as well as hate groups like antis and k*wif*rms have easily been able to paint this mind-picture that Chris lies.

first lets talk about this "lying about their age" point. Chris simply isn't comfortable having to provide detailed descritions about themselves when they can avoid it.

A lot of this has to do with being doxed and stalked for years and trying to block out "stalkers acting like they know them" as it creeps them out.

Rememeber when i talked about the "inverted situation" above? where Chris tried to RP with adults when they were under 18? Yeah that plays into it.

Chris would often say the first thing that comes to their mind without thinking about it to appease someone. ranging from saying someone socially off when talking about fictional rp or w/e, to stirght up believing things that aren't true, especially when pressed/being harassed

Chris especially has an issue where when they're under duress, they will say whatever thing is enough to get pain to stop.

ranging from trying to come up with "easier" untrue explanations for why they fucked up to deal with the pain and cut off negative stimuli, to basically doing whatever harassers or abusers say and believing it to the core to get them to stop.

It's a dynamic sort of like how you can't expect someone to tell the truth when they feel like they're in some danger, and nothing frightens Chris more than social conflict.

the most extreme of Chris's harassers often claim that their behavior makes them "unrepentant", that Chris somehow isn't sorry or feel any remorse or empathy. This isn't true, Chris has severe issues with self-loathing when their action unintentially cause harm.

they have been abused...... a lot over the course of their life.

That's why the discourse causes so much duress for Chris that when it comes from bad actors rather than legit concern, that's when Chris is most at risk with suicidal ideation. the problem is "Chris can't tell the difference between the two"

And I think their card they wrote recently sums up that they KNOW they have to do better in spaces from now on if they ever want a place where they can belong and express themselves.

and it means being more careful of who they engage with in a fandom/kink/rp capacity and practice better safety in reguards to who they are talking to.. just like when they learned why legal age kinksters/shippers wanted nothing to do with them when they were a teen.

I do not believe Chris wants to harm children. The comments Chris has made about how real-life CSA disgusts them and they woud never wish what happened to them on others is too real to me.

HOWEVER, Chris has to, to be blunt, learn to BE MORE FUCKING CAREFUL. Yes, being into fictional ships does not make you a predator. However, if you're going to engage in fandom, you have to have to HAVE TO keep shit 18+ locked, tag the fuck out of common triggers

and most fucking importantly of all, realize when someone isn't of age. slow down, don't reply as quick, and READ CAREFULLY when discussing collaborative writing. taking in pertinent information like "is the other person another adult?"

is kind of important shit. I even said to Chris "I understand reading certain things like numbers is a struggle. Ask this before EVERY RP, Chris. "Are you a minor or an adult" ALWAYS DOUBLE CHECK"

Because I know Chris can turn down inappropriate shit! Chris is very quick to point out when something makes them uncomfortable. And when it comes to limits Chris is usually really understanding and breaks it off if one of their kinks causes an issue!

But it's vitally important that Chris be extra careful about this. Always double check. so you can WALK AWAY before you hand n*ghtig*m and k*wifa*ms more reasons to push you to ideation.

You have to know up front if someone is of legal age before doing collaborative writing with them. If you misread number ask "are you a minor" EVERY TIME

When I talked w/ Chris about this, I said "judging from what I know, it seems when someone gave you an age number that was too low or you didn't ask it led to issues, but when someone said "minor" you actually knew to walk away. just..... always ask that and don't be too afraid

to just END THE COVERSATION IF YOU AREN'T SURE Just because a space is pro-ship does not mean "minor-free" just because an rp site is predominantly erp does not mean everyone there looking for rp is 18 or older, you certainly fucking weren't when you were a teen. just please be

careful, people walked away from you when you were young in fandom for the same reasons."

I'm gonna try to conclude this thread. I am not defending Chris's actions or the harm they caused. But I just don't want Chris to wind up dead over this. I don't want to give any props to all the little antis calling them a transtrender or a fake abuse survivor.