Since I stopped drinking, I keep having occasional nightmares that center around not remembering what I did the night before. That was the worst part of my binge drinking - blacking out. My memories in general from that year or so are not very clear. 468 days. #sobrietyposse

Seeing the posts about daydrinking in quarantine make me happy I made my decision to stop before anything like this happened. It does make me want to drink though. I got into a mess because I drank to forget my anxiety with school and messes I made in my life

There was a lot of shame over blacking out - it meant I lost all control and I couldn’t even remember enough to lie to people when I wanted to hide my drinking. Luckily, my friends were always got me safely home if I was out.

I have been hiding these feelings for a while. I don’t want to feel like someone who preaches about being sober. I also don’t want to feel weak because I had (and have) problems with anxiety and insecurity. I feel so alone when I hide my problems, though.

I saw a therapist when my drinking was at its worst and I just continued to lie about it. I hid my flaws enough to continue my self-destructive behavior without getting reprimanded. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This thread reminds me how far I’ve come and that I have more to work on.