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phantom but it's a bold young countess striving to rescue her dashing yet naive himbo tenor childhood friend from the corrupt older alto who lives under the opera house
OKAY SO I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW
so: Cristophe Daae, the sweet, unworldly prodigy son of a composer, who earned his keep from a young age by singing at anything from churches to taverns, shows up at the opera house and immediately is seen as an absolute godsend.
A tenor who takes direction! Who doesn't create scandal that gets bad publicity in the newspapers! He's got reliable high notes and an ego that's not too big to fit in the rehearsal room and he isn't rude to the mezzo-sopranos!
they throw him in to understudy for Calaf and Hoffman and Edgardo, and he never skips rehearsals to go to society parties, and he speaks enough languages that he can get through a libretto without help. He shows up and does the work and everyone is like "thank god!"
the only problem is: when it comes to everything that's not rehearsing or performance, Cristophe has the intelligence of a marble bust.
Has he made a wrong turn on his way back from lunch? Is a married woman trying to have an affair with him? Is a reporter trying to provoke him into saying something controversial? Cristophe, alas, will be the last to know.
which is why one of the ballerinas, feeling sorry for him in an older-sisterly way, has attached herself to him to steer him away from trouble, jealous husbands, unsafe parts of the catacombs, and women with bad reputations.
it's hard work, but pays twice her regular salary!
it's hard work, but pays twice her regular salary!
the problem is that Cristophe is unfailingly chivalrous. which is why when the mysterious womanly disembodied voice who knows his deepest griefs and corrects his pronunciation in German starts threatening to kill people...
well, she's a woman! Of course she can't be evil! She needs help!
She says she regrets her actions, and weeps in his arms, and talks about how lonely she is and how abandoned she feels and how much she needs someone to take care of her...
She says she regrets her actions, and weeps in his arms, and talks about how lonely she is and how abandoned she feels and how much she needs someone to take care of her...
And Cristophe believes every word.
And, backstage at the Opera House, the body count keeps going up...
And, backstage at the Opera House, the body count keeps going up...
So Cristophe keeps making excuses for the Phantom, and putting on a brave face, and being like "She's shorter than me, how could she kill someone?" while trying to push Meg away so that the Phantom doesn't get jealous, think Meg is the other woman, and do more murder.
enter Rose de Chagny, countess, eccentric and orphaned and wealthy. She rides a bicycle! She's traveled outside of Europe to write of the harms of British rule, a la Mary Kingsley! She has a university degree! She was very nearly arrested in Paris for wearing pants!
