i had such a beautiful trip today
we decided to trip in this cool spot near my old house. the area is basically just a nature reserve. it holds a lot of special memories to me, some of my favorite memories were made there. it was also a place i spent a lot of time when i was my depressed lil high school self.
i spent a good thirty minutes trying to throw up, because i was sooo nauseous. but i was still laughing and having a blast. eventually it went away, and i started finding all these melty beads? like the ones from like arts and crafts you melt with an iron.
there were literally hundreds of different beads, and it genuinely filled me with so much happiness lol. i couldnt stop imagining a 12 year old coming to that spot and just having a mental breakdown over them and scattering them everywhere.
a scary visual i haveny stopped getting since i had at bad trip at 15, is this like pair of eyes and a mouth. and its hard to describe but its literally always terrified me to my core. after my bad trip id get flashbacks and just end up crying bc of it.
but when it happened, i kinda just realized, im an adult now. at first i was scared cause i didnt want to deal with another bad trip. but then my brain literally starting turning all of them into aheago faces.
do you know how funny it is to see aheago faces on literary every surface around you??? i could not stop laughing at my subconscious.
it was also so weird to be back in this spot btw. as grown human, with more complicated feelings than ever. but i couldnt think of a better place to trip.
back to the scary face thingy, this was the best photo i could find that kinda represents it, but its more just the eyes and mouth, and they continuously open wider, and its just patterns like that all over. and when i described it to my friends theyve never seen anything like it
im really thankful for this trip just because it helped me get over that fear. bc thats always been the thing that makes me hesitant to trip again. bc im scared i wont be able to handle seeing it. but now i know i can look at it and turn them into cute aheago faces.
i love mushrooms just because it’s honestly just an amplifier of the way my brain works. not saying i like how my brain works. because its really fucked lol. but mushrooms take away my filter so i can actually talk about it. and they make me greatful for all of the little things.
theres alot more but this thread is mostly just for me, if anyone sees this and has questions about any of it, just ask!