oh actually hang on i'm back: i had a leopika thought that was them being old marrieds but like not quite marrieds because they've never officially crossed the line between friends and lovers. they live together, they're domestic as fuck, and somehow, they've never once kissed

and they're getting old now. Leorio is silver all through his temples and he knows his scruff is dotted with more silver than black. his voice in his forties and fifties is lower than ever. Even kurapika's hair, already light, has turned ashy with grey

they're getting knobbly, grumpy when they wake up and have to pry themselves out of the comfortable warmth of their shared bed, where kurapika's sleep schedule has finally ruined him so that he sleeps fitfully for five hours a night starting at ten pm

they have a shared medicine cabinet that leorio keep painstakingly stocked. he knows how to give kurapika any shots he requires, which is good considering kurapika's hands aren't as steady as they used to be, and no one else is getting near him with a pointy object

for chrissakes, killua says, slapping his hand on the table, they file TAXES together.

yes, says gon, they got married a while ago so leorio could yell at kurapika more efficiently in hospital rooms. legally, they have to file their taxes together

that is actually worse, killua says. they are LITERALLY MARRIED and they still won't admit that they're in love.

and that much is true. they won't, despite it being woven into every bit of care they put into each other. Leorio badgers kurapika into looking after himself, and

kurapika holds leorio together when he loses another patient at work. they're there for each other. they bicker and coupon and grocery shop and kurapika mocks leorio's inability to maintain a garden, and leorio teases kurapika about being unable to fold a fitted sheet.

why does it matter, leorio asks, if they've kissed? it doesn't matter to him. kurapika is /here/. that's more than he ever thought he'd get. kurapika is here, and he cooks for leorio, and badgers him into shaving more frequently than he would otherwise. it doesn't matter, gon.

it would feel selfish, at this point, to ask for anything more, kurapika admits perhaps a bit more honestly. And what they have is good. it works for them. leorio understands, the way he's always understood. It's okay, killua. Kurapika has what he wants, and he won't ask for more

(clearly this is not okay, and neither of them is particularly HAPPY about this, but it is what's happening, so it's up to gon and killua, happily married now for nearly fifteen years, to sort their shit out because leorio and kurapika? fucking impossible together.)

this ends with none of their schemes working. not the fake wedding vow renewal, not the news of gon and killua's adoption going well, not alluka bringing her girlfriend home (which was a long shot, admittedly, but hey). Not the preplanned, excessively romantic scenarios.

kurapika and leorio just Will Not Kiss. They are Unkissable! They are so in the habit of not kissing that bridging that last gap seems impossible, when kurapika can just rest his head on leorio's shoulder, when leorio can hold loosely onto kurapika's waist.

"do you think we should?"

kurapika looks up from where he's squinting stubbornly at his book, and leorio sighs, passing him the glasses he always insists he doesn't need. "Should what?"

"kiss. Get the boys off our backs."

"if that's the reason for it, then no, absolutely not."

leorio blinks, pauses where his knuckles are brushing the softness of kurapika's cheek. his eyes are lined with crows feet, wrinkles and the beginnings of age spots visible in the uneveness of his face, and leorio can't imagine a day without him.

"That isn't the only reason."

So it happens, with no fanfare, as they lay beside each other in a bed they've shared now for nearly twenty years. Leorio summons up his courage, melds it with his care, and leans in to press the gentlest of kisses to Kurapika's waiting lips.

they then decide to troll the absolute fuck out of the kids because it's kurapika and leorio and they kiss in front of them and then act like they've been doing it for years, come on killua, you were AT their wedding

anyways, old tender marrieds, end thread, they're in love and will never not be obnoxious and just the worst about it