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So, it& #39;s been a year to the day from when I went in for emergency ankle surgery and they put a whole drawer worth of screws and plates and pins in my left ankle after I rolled on some wet grass the day before. And things are so much better! I can walk again! Pain is WAY down!
I& #39;m gonna have an achey ankle for the rest of my life, but it could have been a lot worse! I& #39;m very, very grateful for the quick and effective and affordable care I got at the hospital, and the amazing physiotherapist I found. Recovery is a real trip and you need a good team.
The REAL hero here is Matt, though, who came and got me when I fell down, held my hand through all the swearing I had to do during assessment and treatment at the hospital, and then did literally everything for us for months while I recovered.
He still has to step up, all the time; if I stood for too long and now can& #39;t cook/do dishes; if I garden too hard and stress my ankle; if I let my joint get cold on a walk and the nerves seize up and I need him to go get the crutches so I can get home; if I just have a sore day.
A lot of folks who& #39;ve broken their ankles said really nice things to me while I was out with the cast or the boot or crutches or the cane, things like "oh, after six months I was jogging again!" or "you& #39;ll be back to normal in no time!" and I know, I know they meant well, but..
Well, I don& #39;t think we had the same experience. I shattered the heck out of my ankle in a pretty shitty freak accident; the surgical residents at the hospital remember me for how bad the break was; my physio remembers me for how many other fun chronic problems I came with.
It& #39;s taken me a year to accept that their injury and recover are not and will not be my experience. Sometimes I beat myself up over not pushing myself to be jogging yet, or for accepting that my not-back-to-normal mobility might actually be my new normal.
I need to celebrate what I& #39;ve got here! One year ago I really put my body through the wringer, and it& #39;s pretty great to be able to garden, and walk the dog with Matt, and stand in the kitchen long enough to cook and clean and knead bread; slow healing is still healing.
So many folks that have helped me learn about ableism and how society measures bodies against some "healthy" standard; I know that the months I spent on crutches do not give me access to the experience of a lifetime of battling for access and respect and autonomy.
