For the first time ever, I'm finally watching the Lion King. Yes, yes, I know. I'm late as hell.

Everyone has attacked me for never seeing it. So here we go.

So, the monkey just got Juicy Juice and dirt rubbed on the baby's forehead. I'm assuming this is his blessing/christening.

I'm digging James Earl Jones as King Mufasa. A little thrown that his brother, Scar is apparently British. Like his asshole vibes. We'll talk about that later.

Scar is already lying to his nephew and jealous of his place in the hierarchy. He seems like a fucking jerk. So Scar is my favorite character so far.

They've now broken out into song randomly. Not sure how much longer I can hold on.

So the hyenas are the crackheads of the community. Got it.

My mother just called Scar a "raggedy bastard" for watching "day baybeh" almost die.

Mufasa just looked at the sky. Something bad finna happen. GODDAMMIT. Everybody knows looking at the sky is bad in a movie.

Wayment. Scar wants to kill his brother?! Son of a bitch.

SCAR IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

Don't you tell me Mufasa died. No no no no no. That baby didn't watch his dad die. OMG

And now Scar is blaming Simba?! Fuck Scar. He can kiss my ass.

Simba ran away. Now his mother lost her baby and her man? The world didn't need another single black mother. FUCK.