Anyway, back on the topic of this purposeful pandemic. Look, I love science. But what we need is a scientist to come forward and admit that this was unleashed upon the globe in a blatant act.

“Chad you crazy for that one lmao.” Am I? Let’s observe:
Oct 2019, boxes of raisins make a comeback for Halloween treats.
Nov 2019, canned yams prices went up 69%.
Dec 2019, Lexus did not have a December to remember

There’s some dude in a suit knocking on my front door right now and I’m scared.

He isn’t wearing a protective mask. Now there’s cop cars lined up outside. None of them wearing masks. This is now a standoff. I refuse to open the door for someone not wearing a mask.

They offered me a mask. I’m skeptical.

I can’t in good conscience go out there and possibly infect anyone. Nor do I want them to infect me. We’re at a standstill.

Now the neighbors are out taking pics and such. My shirt is off.

I establish my dominance with a beer gut while holding a chihuahua. They don’t want any of this.

After much dileberation, turns out they were at the wrong house. They left Lysol wipes and a fleetwood mac CD on the porch.