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explaining why im scared of the dark because nobody asked
we’re gonna start off with the fact that it roots from my trauma
my dad scared me so much to the point where i refused to be alone during the night
i used to make myself stay up all night in middle school and sometimes even woke my sister up just to make sure nothing would happen to me
he eventually found out what i was doing and made me sleep in the living room on the days my mom worked nights so my sister wouldn’t know what was going on
my mom worked nights for a good amount of time during my middle school/high school years
three years later & i can sleep in my bfs room with his lights off and i dont have to have my christmas lights on in my room when i sleep anymore.
however i still have to sit up against a wall and i absolutely cannot stand in the middle of my room in the night
i also wont look out my window during the night unless im closing them, and for months after he went to prison i refused to even open my window during the day in case i forgot to close it before it got dark because i was so afraid of him finding me
then when i was put in foster care and i lived w a single dad, he made things worse and extended my fear even farther into being scared of men in general, being scared to speak up when i dont like something (both which i already had)
anyways yeah. enjoy this thread of me realizing im scare dof the night time and not the dark lmfao
