so im gonna rant about something pls ignore this thread

i feel kinda selfish because im already in a relationship and it's not perfect but at least after we fight we try to understand each others point of view and all of that

i don't it's a toxic or abusive relationship (i might be wrong but that's what i feel?) since all my past ones were abusive and toxic as fuck and left me with lots of trauma

BUT i feel like i deserve better (?) i don't feel like i love him the way i want to love someone and i certainly DON'T feel he loves me the way i want to be love

idk if that's toxic, immature or selfish of me but??? idk????

i want to feel like the person im with loves ME for being myself, and i think he loves being with me and the comfort of our 2 year relationship but he doesn't love ME ????

anyway i just want to feel truly loved

and idk if i feel this way bc it's true or bc it's my insecurities and anxiety telling me im not loved???? or maybe both???

fuck i hate this i feel like the worst human being for feeling this way

end of thread pls don't read it i just needed to get it off my chest