Storytiiiime:
I have this highkey mjolo curse that makes every relationship I'm in either end or start collapsing around my birthday. 2020 was the year that was supposed to change, and for 12 days and 16 hours it seemed like that curse was gone ey. Countdown to my L starts now...

So babygirl and I had been together since mid November, and for two months it was near perfect bliss: The boy was winning gold in the mjololympics, even my monthly budget knew her. She only ever got mad at me once ra ba shap, so going into January 2020 I'm all like

Almost two weeks of nice mjolo and long distance promises later, it's the afternoon before my birthday: mom was out of town for a few days on some work conference, so I'm home alone a few hours before I'm about to turn 22, I think we all know what this sounds like

So it's the afternoon of the 13th, babes is at school having her classes and shit, I'm at home with just enough cash for fuel to Roma and leshimi so I'm really thinking about making my birthday memorable ey. I get a text from my homie, he's walking to the house to see me

Ayt, bet, I get over the initials annoyance fast cause I wasn't guaranteed to go to Roma anyway"What's good G?" I actually appreciate the visit, it's the first birthday I'm spending without mom around so it was a bit lonelyAnyway, were talking as usual, baby comes up

I'm raving guys, mjolo's got me good, I'm dating my crush, she loves me and I love her, her friends adore me and I adore them. Homie and her are friends from first year, so everything literally gels. As I'm talking about how happy I am, homie asks if he can tell me something

Ayt cool, I promise the homie I won't get madDeep down I already know I'm about to boil over if this nigga tells me some shitbut Naaaahhhh, I'll be as chilled as a mom of two leaving her toddler kids to go be a famo music video vixen

Same time babes and I are still texting by the way poor girl, classes were hectic after the tent was burned But she still found time to send lovey dovey textsI'm thinking month end I gotta take this one to Bloem

So homie asks how much I love her, and obviously ke rata ngoanenoa blynd so I say so. Homie pulls up their chats and proceeds to show me receipts upon receipts, basically from a month into our relationship until two days before now

And no, before you ask, they weren't cheating or anything, but in that moment I learned bofebe ain't the worst thing a partner can do to you...

So I'm looking at the homie's phone, seeing texts and hearing voicenotes from my girl, telling the homie she's exhausted. The poor girl says she has tried everything she could to love me, that she thought time would make her get over it but she just feels nothing for me

I'm reading this like

So I'm confused, this is mid December, what happened??? I see the homie texted she should give it time, it would be fucked up to break up with someone after a month, especially cause she's the one who asked me out. Sis agreed, lasted almost a month more, then decided "fok"

So I'm reading this, and it gets better : I had been applying to UKZN and my application was being pulled out of trash bins basically. I had legit told her my school stuff is a shit sandwich, and I appreciate her for bringing some hot and love into the mess. So guess what

Sis says she can't break up with me during my birthmonth, with this school stuff going so South, so she'll wait until next month when all of this is over then she'll dump me then I'm looking at this chat wondering if she's legit going to pity date me ka birthday ea ka

So at this rate, I'm doing that smile and laugh combo my friends know I do when I'm really hurt but can't verbalise it I tell brodie I need a drink and fortunately ke lula pela ha Tlelai so re lata li quarts. Ke ichaetse maybe ke hloka tamati daar, Boleke bo batang

So re reka lik'hotho daar, drive over to the homie's house a few hundred metres away from mine. Re lutse rea noa, ke qala ho utloa biri e theoha hamonate hakaalo, joale Stout
Fuck it! Nobody gets to keep me clowning on my own birthday
I tell brodie to open the chat

So I direct the homie to text her than she should tell me the truth, I deserve to know. Immediate rebuttal ! Expected, but ha ke vaye vandag so I amp up the pressure: Look, he really loves you and you're gonna keep the truth from him, on his birthday, keep him clueless?

Sis responds that the fact that it's my birthday is exactly why she can't do that. She talks about how nice I am(aaahhh, that word) and shit like that. So finally I ask the brodie "what if you threaten to tell me if she doesn't" and the homie says "she'd prefer that"

So he texts her that ultimatum right? Sis is hurt, as expected, but says he can do as he wishes
I haven't checked on my girlfriend in while by the way, so I look at my phone and baby's texted me, we continue our chat cause hakere rona we're in love, re shap

So I tell her I'm about to leave my house to meet with the homie, might get a bottle of liquorthis woman is unfazed, goes on like nothing is happening

MBOKODO!!!

Eventually, about half an hour after supposedly meeting with the homie, I text her that we need to talk Homie told me everything. So this is the part where it gets funny, she neither denies it nor takes actual responsibility for it y'all know chakra Huns neh???

This girl sounded like Summer Walker came out of the booth straight after recording Just Might and told her exactly what to say to me she legit tells me she's been trying to find a way to tell me cause I'm perfect but she just feels nothing and she wishes she could

So I tell her straight up okay fine, so we're done. I'll come get my hoodie tomorrow. That's right folks, I wasn't even going to waste any time, I went to Roma ON MY BIRTHDAY to get my shit so I could release lepantiti la batho and so I did

Fin!