so I wrote a Hades x Persephone fic a while back and got a very concerned email from a friend saying "aren't you training girls to romanticise abuse?" and I said no actually I am not "training" "girls" I am making art for adults and my readers are grown & mature women

naturally I wasn't romanticising abuse, but beyond that, I humbly submit the only way you can even have a blanket "this is dangerous" take on a trope is by either infantilising the medium of fiction (=only for children) or infantilising the readers (=women dumb)

(also, of all the stories I've heard from battered women, none of them began with "it all started when I took Twilight WAY TOO SERIOUSLY" compared to the huge number that began "controlling parental/ecclesiastical authorities trained me never to trust my conscience")

in my experience women ARE capable of identifying and growing beyond harmful expectations picked up in any sort of literature (including but not limited to that literature deemed Suitable For Their Consumption, and praise the Lord for that)

not saying children should read indiscriminately or that a balanced reading diet isn't important! BUT you can pick up bad stuff from GA Henty as easily as Stephenie Meyer, how bout we train girls to exercise judgement, and then let grown women read as they judge fit?

don't get me wrong, there are definitely things I think nobody should write. I grew up on horrible vintage romance novel tropes. had to unlearn a lot of stuff and start romanticising equality and respect. it's been a Process.

but the thing about a lot of tropes is they usually aren't good or bad in themselves, execution is usually everything. take love triangles.

I thought love triangles were unhealthy (sure let's train girls to expect hot guys falling over themselves to woo her!) till I found love triangles I loved (girl has two TERRIBLE options! OR choice of guy is fundamentally the choice between good and evil!) -

- AND I realised that reading love triangles never fooled ME into thinking hot guys would fall over themselves to woo me, so why should I assume I was the only girl on earth with a brain? serious question?

take enemies to lovers! hated it every time I saw it bc the girl would inevitably capitulate to the guy bc he was cute! and then TLJ came along and she rejected him and then gutted him with a laser sword, forcing him to reevaluate his life choices and I SUDDENLY UNDERSTOOD

this is also true with monster romance; I once wrote a monster romance as an exploration of the way that the spiritually blind perceive the divine as monstrous, inspired by 2 Corinthians 2:15-16. literally nobody complained.

(why is it monster *romance* we focus on? why no expressions of concern for stories like LOTR or ATLA where male protagonists forge deep platonic connections with dangerous antags like Smeagol or Zuko? do we think girls are more easily deceived than boys?)

the point is, execution makes a huge difference! and I personally find it helpful to think critically about the underlying reasons behind why I tend to instinctively react a certain way to a certain trope. thank you for listening.