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Everything surreal? Nothing happening feels real? Disconnected from the world around you and feel as if youâre living in a movie? You may be experiencing derealization or depersonalization, both forms of dissociation. A lot of people are experiencing it during #COVID19.
Iâm seeing a LOT of people talk about this and ask whatâs going on. âI feel so spaced outâ or ânone of this feels real?â are common complaints of living through a pandemic. Your brain is trying to help you deal with things by flying away, or dissociating, from the reality.
But youâre not in psychosis. Youâre not fully disconnected. Everything around you is real - but you feel profoundly disconnected from it, from yourself, or both. So what the heck is going on? Could be derealization and/or depersonalization. But what does that mean?
Derealization is a name for dissociation in which a person feels profound disconnect from their environment. Depersonalization is disconnect from the self. These are both forms of dissociation. They are not uncommon and may accompany high stress or trauma.
To talk about dissociation, depersonalization and derealization, we have to understand what dissociation itself is.
In times of extreme stress or danger, weâre predisposed to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Dissociation is freezing.
In times of extreme stress or danger, weâre predisposed to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Dissociation is freezing.
If youâve ever heard someone describe a traumatic experience and say they felt like they watched it happen from above, or their body wouldnât move and they felt like they were screaming inside - this is freezing. Itâs not uncommon. Itâs not a choice, either.
Other things that may cause it:
- death of a loved one
- periods of intense stress (like now)
- weed
- emotional neglect
- emotional abuse
- sexual assault
- long periods of being overworked (stress!)
- anxiety attacks
This is not an exhaustive list.
- death of a loved one
- periods of intense stress (like now)
- weed
- emotional neglect
- emotional abuse
- sexual assault
- long periods of being overworked (stress!)
- anxiety attacks
This is not an exhaustive list.
Derealization can feel like:
- youâre living in a movie
- youâre living in a dream
- floating
- the world may not feel real but you do not experience psychosis or a psychotic break
- EVERYTHING is on autopilot
- the world feels as if itâs far away
- youâre living in a movie
- youâre living in a dream
- floating
- the world may not feel real but you do not experience psychosis or a psychotic break
- EVERYTHING is on autopilot
- the world feels as if itâs far away
Depersonalization can feel like:
- your emotions arenât quite yours
- your head is filled with cotton
- youâre watching yourself literally from above
- you canât recognize your own face properly all the time
- people you know feel like strangers
- youâre not real
- your emotions arenât quite yours
- your head is filled with cotton
- youâre watching yourself literally from above
- you canât recognize your own face properly all the time
- people you know feel like strangers
- youâre not real
This is not an exhaustive list! These are just some things I experience. My DPRD (Depersonalization Derealization Disorder) became a full time brain gig when I was 19. I didnât know what was happening; it was very scary. You are not alone if youâre feeling this way.
So, why are we freezing up now? Why is this happening?
Right now a devastating outbreak of illness is going on. One we canât see or properly fight. Weâre going through an international tragedy that we canât fight, run from or reason with. The brain doesnât know what to do.
Right now a devastating outbreak of illness is going on. One we canât see or properly fight. Weâre going through an international tragedy that we canât fight, run from or reason with. The brain doesnât know what to do.
Itâs also why people are complaining of feeling much more tired even though they may have more time. Everything is at a standstill while things spiral around us. Our brains donât know what to do, so they just might freeze. And itâs exhausting.
Dissociation itself can also accompany many mental illneses and conditions, such as depression, PTSD, BPD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc. You donât have to have a mental illness to experience it.
Itâs normal to experience it in transient states of dissociation if it doesnât interfere with functioning. So if itâs every now and then, thatâs normal. If itâs out of your control, distressing, or interferes with your functioning- THAT is when you should talk to your doctor.
I want to reiterate: this is not an active choice. If youâve frozen up during a trauma, ever, itâs what your brain was predisposed to do. If youâre dissociated now, itâs not your fault or choice. This kind of crisis is unprecedented in our lives. This is a traumatic event.
We donât completely know why our brains dissociate. There are theories, but weâre still figuring out a lot about how the brain works. But we do know your brain is trying to help you. Itâs just unintentionally trying too hard sometimes (like when it doesnât shut off).
So, what can you do? How do you feel better?
The first big thing is to remember that you are not losing your grip on reality. You arenât going mad, though you may feel like you are. Your brain is trying to keep you safe. It might be trying too hard, but thatâs what it is.
The first big thing is to remember that you are not losing your grip on reality. You arenât going mad, though you may feel like you are. Your brain is trying to keep you safe. It might be trying too hard, but thatâs what it is.
Find people to talk to. If you can, definitely try and set up remote therapy. If not, talk to people. Call them and physically talk, dont just type. Do video chats. Do zoom. Get on Skype. Keep your connections alive. If other people exist, you exist.
Grounding techniques are things you can do at home by yourself if things are getting overwhelming that are meant to connect you back with reality. One great one is 54321- name 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, 1 taste.
This engages the senses and forces you to focus on the physical that youâre surrounded by. You can repeat as many times as you need to.
Others might be narrating what youâre doing out loud or drinking something cold. These help keep your brain present in the physical.
Others might be narrating what youâre doing out loud or drinking something cold. These help keep your brain present in the physical.
Moving your body is also going to be helpful. If you can walk outside safely without being near others, I highly recommend it. If not, if you can do some stretching or yoga in your home, do it. Make it a point to move. I PROMISE it helps.
Most important, I think, is you need to be gentle with yourself. These are scary times. What you are experiencing is a natural response to a trauma. There is nothing wrong with this response, or from having time but not being able to function.
Again: We are going through something many of us have little tools to face or deal with. This is unprecedented in our lifetimes. Itâs normal to be overwhelmed. Itâs okay if youâre dissociating. You are not alone in that. 
Time for some further resources!
Here is a blog post I put together a while ago. It discusses dissociation, dissociative disorders, and links to many resources I used to research the post. https://secretladyspider.wordpress.com/2019/04/19/what-is-dissociation/
Here is a website all about trauma and dissociation, aptly titled Trauma and Dissociation. They are also on twitter @TraumaDID http://traumadissociation.com
@coachcalledlife on YouTube has a lot of good videos about dealing with dissociation. These talk a lot about depersonalization and derealization, and I have found them very helpful. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUJTQ4PGt5cKCSrGcY3pCHA
Here is an informational video from @SciShow if you need more explanation or are curious about it.
@doddleoddle has a few videos on it! Here's one with @KatiMorton that I particularly like.
and here's another one they did:
Here is a video of grounding techniques for dissociation:
Here is another video if you are a beginner to using grounding techniques:
If movement helps more, here is a Quick Grounding Yoga Sequence for Depersonalization:
Dissociation and being purposely present in the body doesn't always work and can be triggering for some, so be mindful and careful with this.
Dissociation and being purposely present in the body doesn't always work and can be triggering for some, so be mindful and careful with this.
Here is some grounding ASMR, if you find that sort of video more helpful:
My personal favorite grounding technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. 5 things I see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I hear, and so on. I repeat it as necessary. Stim toys can also be helpful for grounding, as feeling for different textures can be very helpful.
I've seen a LOT of people posting about this and I've been tagged in a lot of posts where people talk about it but don't have a name for it. I hope this helps. Remember, it might feel like you are alone, but you aren't. There is always someone out there who will listen.
Stay safe, wash your hands, and take care of your mental health. 
Uhm hi PS I also make YouTube videos about pop culture and mental health and am on Patreon, if youâre into that(new video is coming REAL soon) thank you guys so much for reading this and I truly hope it helps!
http://Patreon.com/secretladyspider
http://YouTube.com/secretladyspider
http://Patreon.com/secretladyspider
http://YouTube.com/secretladyspider
