If you had graduate students work as RAs for a journal article that then became a chapter in a monograph, it's gauche not to have acknowledged them in either the publication of the article or the book, right?

I am trying to feel like "ah yes, leaving academia is good and I'm fine with it," and I am. It is good for me to leave, but then I think about how exhausting it was and how angry I am that it took so much energy and so much optimism and good-will from me and I just feel angry.

Anyway, I thought I was just being petty about the not-being-thanked thing, because myself and the other RA were paid through a SSHRC grant to work on the journal article. The SSHRC grant was acknowledged and thanked, but not us.

I have a week left in my fellowship and I'm trying to take account of my time in academia, because...it's hard to leave. Part of me wishes I was staying, but I just don't think I have the emotional fortitude to do it anymore. To be upset, to be angry, to be annoyed.

I mean I am also trying to use this time to recall all the moments of incredible mentorship and collegiality and kindness. I will be writing notes of gratitude. But somehow in leaving, all the not-great stuff comes up too.

I also realize how little I knew and how I naïve I was about how academia worked, but I am just trying to be gentle and realize I did the best I could. And focus on thanking those who made it possible for me to do good work and to not completely fall apart.