Everyone's out here feeling sorry for the extroverts in quarantine - and I do, too - but as a strong introvert? This has been actual constant-people hell for me. How is that possible, you might ask? Well.....

1) I am still working, and some of my work includes sales, with a lot of phone calls and online meetings. My work used to include a long solitary commute through the woods, plus a tiny, quiet office closed to the public (with people I adore and feel safe with) plus ....

I took a couple of walks alone every day to clear my head. Now there's no commute, no walks, because

2) My kids are off school for the rest of the year. I love my kids more than any other people on the planet, they're wonderful, but there's no alone time when we're all ...

in the house together all the time. I've always had sole custody, but they used to have visitation with their dad twice a month, which has been indefinitely suspended. They need someone to do homework with them, and help them talk through their own fears and disappointment. And

if I do go for walks, 3) all my neighbors are home! Every house seems to have someone in the yard or driveway who wants to talk (from 6 feet away!) Any time I open the windows, someone is always chatting on their phone or mowing their lawn or just THERE. And then there's ...

4) my dad, brother, sister-in-law, and best friend, all of whom are isolating alone, and who get lonely. I get that. But it means if I have down time there's a constant stream of Zoom requests and phone calls and texts and emails in an overwhelming volume I don't usually have ...

to grapple with. And regular social events like 5) my book clubs are still meeting, just online, and although I love these people I just got a request for a Google Hangouts today that will last THREE HOURS LONG and I just can't even imagine. I find...

that this is taking a surprising toll on me. I'm so stressed and anxious, my work and my parenting are suffering, I resent the people around me. I find myself constantly fantasizing about an isolated cabin in the woods. But how can I abandon people when we need each other?

I can't just leave people I love to struggle without me. I can't tell clients I'm not going to take their calls. I can't refuse to parent and support my kids. But there are no breaks. My resources are completely gone, and there's no end in sight.

I don't know where I'm going with this or what my point is beyond shouting into the void. I guess I just need to counter this public idea that everyone is sooo lonely right now and we should all reach out to each other constantly. Or the (very intense, ingrained) cultural message

that not reaching out or wanting to be continually around people means you don't care about them. I love very strongly. I absolutely adore the people in my circle, but for an introvert social interaction is DRAINING. So this constant-public-access thing without end is exhausting.