THREAD
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I am in a place of solid peace, love, & personal strength atm as I write this. I’m going to be ok from here on out. I mean it. I will not stay damaged. Here’s a bit about the how/why:

I’m confident that I am going to be alright now. I mean it. I will not feel damaged. Some part of me is/was damaged, in raw, raw pain but I am giving her a kind & loving burial. This is health; this is power. Not denial! Just release. I’m letting her go. A liberation of self.

I won’t pretend pain has not been brutal & real. I am not avoiding it. I still could have PLENTY of reasons for rage, even outrage & despair re my life or the human condition. A good argument can be made for my self-pity. If I were inclined. Yet I no longer AM so inclined! :)

I have empathically absorbed a lot of the pain of others here & elsewhere. My decision to be okay doesn’t mean I won’t feel you in a raw way in my core; I still will. The difference is I will no longer allow it to become my own vibration.

If I do begin to seem okay in the face of suffering I observe, it is not callous, it is not a renunciation of those I see. I will not ever forsake caring about those I love. In fact, I am proud of the vulnerability I have brought, the way I show up with my heart on my sleeve.

The heart has to pump blood to itself before it can serve the rest of the body. Self-care is not a nice-to-have. It is survival. It is imperative. I’m no use to you/anyone if I allow my annihilation. In this way, when we firmly assert our own wellbeing, we love others better too!

In this strange & paradoxical way, healthy self-regard & self-love IS love of others.

When we absorb others’ anger we feel wounded; when we share others’ addictions we get a dose of the toxin; when we allow others to judge & measure us, we feel insecure. Pain can be viral.

When we empathize with those who feel they are never enough to satisfy, we begin to feel we too are not enough. I will not mirror your pain. Ohhhh I see your pain & don’t deny you. I can love you through it -but I see & raise that bid...I will mirror & amplify other things.

I am here to say I am enough, more than enough, always was, always will be. AND SO ARE ALL OF YOU. I always knew it but temporarily lost sight of it in the face of being devalued/invalidated by nearly everyone in my life & even judged by remote groups of people while in crisis.

I urge all of you to remember: if you allow serving others & pleasing them to destroy your health or mind or soul, you offer them only toxicity, a hollow offering of codependency. Real love (not just romantic/any context) involves a healthy whole person showing up for the other.

So this thread today is about saying I love the fuck out of myself! And so should all of you! It is the most loving thing you can do for others too. That’s the funny thing about love, it can be mirrored & amplified too! Most of all, really.