been seeing a lot of friends & mutuals talk abt their trauma lately, a part of me wants to do the same, but right now? i still feel so broken. not healed. ive barely begun to pick up the pieces of myself. so much history from family, ex friends, ex partners.

especially recently. my sense of self, my perception of reality feels completely warped. a part of me is terrified to talk it out but i know that i have to heal. i want to be better for myself.

i can acknowledge that ive made mistakes or messed up royally all day but when i ignore the pain i still feel? not helpful for my sake.

i don't know where im going with this thread. im numb to a lot of emotions but the moment im shown its going to be ok i start crying