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So I have some thoughts. And I figured why not share them with twitter because what else would I be doing with my time? Anyway. University. Many of us pay thousands upon thousands to take 3-year long courses that either define our lives or make us realise actually (1/9)

it’s all nonsense and “pfft I don’t need a degree”. So I’ve always been quite academic. I loved school, got top grades, was made fun of for being teachers pet and goodie-two-shoes etc etc. I loved learning, and I still do. BUT. As I’ve progressed through my university(2/9)

education, I’ve realised something (well lots of things, but one that’s relevant to this thread). I really, really, REALLY hate writing academic essays. And yes I know they’re not typically a fun activity but let me explain. As I’ve already established, I’ve always been (3/9)

academic and I’ve always gotten top grades. In fact I’d like to think of myself as a Hermione growing up. However, this joy for learning has turned into a major anxiety to always do well, to always achieve high grades, to always be best in the class. And actually, I’m not. (4/9)

In fact I think as I’ve progressed through uni, my grades have gotten worse. And now, in lockdown, I have absolutely NO motivation to work on my 12,000 word dissertation. It’s not the topic, I LOVE the topic and I LOVE the learning that comes with it. (5/9)

But at the moment, I’ve got about 11,500 words of complete trash and I know it’s going to be graded terribly and yet... (6/9)

I just can’t bring myself to improve it. I feel like I’m letting myself down. That’s the issue, the phrase “letting myself down”. I don’t know. Is it laziness? Maybe. Though perhaps a bad grade might give me the slap in the face I need to teach me that (7/9)

grades do not equal self-worth, and just because I can’t achieve the grades I used to, doesn’t mean I’m letting myself down, or I am any less intelligent, practical, committed, talented etc. (8/9)

One last note: I do a theatre degree. I LOVE being creative and making theatre and I want to go on to act and perform in any way I can in the future. Take that how you will. Anyway, signing off now, thanks for reading. (9/9)