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i keep telling myself i’m due for a social media break and i rly am but it’s so hard. it’s one of the only things i can do for hours and the track of time stays lost
everything hurts rn. ofc, for everyone. it’s just weighing so heavily. academic pressure. frustration w government. fears about the future. mourning of life once known. i don’t want to process. i don’t know how. i don’t know where to start. i just want to be distracted.
it’s so hard to bring myself to do schoolwork bc i remember my reality. i’m a student. at home. in my bed. while ppl are dying and mourning and fighting for their lives. i’m supposed to sit here and do organic chemistry. it’s just so fkn hard i’m sorry
this is SO not me. i’m motivated. i persevere. i get shit done. but for whatever reason i just can’t. and just sitting down and typing this thread has brought me to tears. i’m frustrated w the world but mostly frustrated w myself. why can’t i pull through this time.
i feel ugly, unhealthy, and tired. i have not looked in the mirror and hated what i see so much in YEARS. it’s all rushing back, all the horrible feelings from high school. all the breakdowns and tears and cruel thoughts happened in this bed, doing hw. and i’m back.
