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I can't believe in the middle of a pandemic where I am working well over 50 hours a week at my dad's store, my dad tells me, "Why are you still playing games and doing nothing with your life. Your cousin took out a 100K loan recently to invest in stuff."
And now I'm up at 4am --
And now I'm up at 4am --
Just thinking to myself how much I just don't care about any of his expectations, how I'm tired of being told to do whatever I want but then get I'm doing it wrong. I'm tired of being appreciated for my hard work then getting told I'm being lazy. I'm tired of negative renforcment
I'm just constantly getting told by them that I should get a pretty wife and a 6 figure job etc etc but like, have they ever to listened to me saying I just don't value their shallow and appearance focused platitudes? That I have no pride in my social status?
All I want to do is explore and improve at my hobbies, appreciate art, do stuff with friends. But because My values don't align with them, my mom cries praying to God that I'll change. My dad is always yelling. They think they're failures because I won't be what they want.
I don't want them to think that but there's also no fucking way I'm going to change what I want to bend to them. I can try to communicate this to them but then they just tell me they'll disown me lmao. I want to make things work with them so I don't wanna just cut ties off but
It gets harder and harder every time for me to work up the willpower to try and fight back. I've made my mom cry. I've made my dad furious. This is what happens when I tell them how I feel and they respond with threats and manipulative rhetoric. Just let me live life how I want.
