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Been thinking a lot and crying about my old friend Lensey Butler today. OD/suicide, back in like 07 I think
She was an artist, a painter. I was an artist then too. We'd share work and hang out and make each other laugh and listen to music.
Lensey was dating one of my best friends. She got into heroin like a lot of my friends did. It was a depressing time.
I had stayed up all night doing mushrooms with her on-and-off bf and a group of best friends. Probably the best trip I ever had, staring at the stars in the backyard and listening to music, real euphoria..
After sunrise we're sitting on the porch and my phone is ringing. It's an ex-girlfriend. I answered.
She tells me Lensey overdosed and left a note, just after getting out of rehab. I had to be the one to tell her boyfriend. He spent the next hour walking around the neighborhood punching trees and screaming
Funeral was a travesty, some pastor who had never met her and giving dumb platitudes like, 'It's so sad to see a young person die' NO SHIT
I was 'gifted' with several boxes and bags of her books and clothes. Sold off/donated most of it, but I kept her belt
The belt fit me and I wore it for years until it write down last winter. I'd get compliments, then remark that I was wearing a dead girl's belt, and conversation got very awkward very quick.
She asked me to be honest about her paintings once. I told her I didn't like her style. She got upset, but we remained friends. I don't know if I regret saying that or not
I do regret not trying to help her more, but addiction is hard and I personally feel like it's something that they gotta decide on their own
But she was suffering more from mental health issues than drugs. That's what lead her to heroin
I don't have a point to this thread other than I miss Lensey and laughing with her and singing loud to Neutral Milk Hotel drunk in the kitchen with her shitty little dog yapping at us
