so, hello, hehe. i don& #39;t hope to fish for any attention. i just want to voice this thoughts or so whatever, out. i& #39;m currently listening to welcome to my life by simple plan. i& #39;m on my edge, my breaking point, i& #39;m on my limits right now +
I just don& #39;t know what else I can do to ease the thoughts of leaving, permanently. it& #39;s so hard to be back at square one. i& #39;m hurt, i& #39;m lost, basically everything that I used to do.. to cope up, is not enough. you feel me? this is more than tiredness +
where I sleep and sleep, but it doesn& #39;t suffice. sleep is indeed for a tired soul but it doesn& #39;t suffice, again. i& #39;m still tired the moment I wake up. ya feel me again? and, again, I don& #39;t wish to fish any attention.. I just want to open this up since I everybody is busy +
my parents won& #39;t understand me. they understand my NEEDS but they don& #39;t understand me. they don& #39;t know what it& #39;s like to be me, okay I get it, we have different problems to face with.
but I just my will to live, again.
but I just my will to live, again.
I often wonder why the generation we have today have kids that are dying, lost, suffering, or what. my fingers are literally shaking right now because I& #39;m restraining myself from crying my heart out. silent crying hits differently.
every damn night, my mind is fucking the hell out of me. that I don& #39;t matter, that I am replaceable. that i am not enough. that somewhere, somehow, everything I do/did will never be enough. it just makes me sad that I thought my parents would understand that I have anxiety +
depression, that it is more than just they think. it is more than sadness. that& #39;s why I never opened up anything to my parents after saying I have those. even I keep myself busy, my mind is always telling me stuffs.
"why are you so happy?" i& #39;m not. one more thing, is that if something went wrong? and I was there? they& #39;d pinpoint that it& #39;s because of me. the feeling of being accused just grew and grew. that everything that I do will just result to a disappointment.
it& #39;s hard to be happy in this world. too cruel.
thank you for passing by to this thread of mine, please have a good day. i love you. thank you for taking time to read if you do, it matters.