I’m really tired of this “if what you’re writing/drawing/watching isn’t bad, then why don’t you show it to your parents/friend/coworkers?” arguments cause like... you KNOW that’s incredibly toxic right? Like you understand how unhealthy that is right???

I wouldn’t show my mother or my coworkers even the most vanilla porn I have. Not because the porn itself is bad, but because that would be... highly inappropriate?? That’s a boundary between me and my mother, and it’s DEFINITELY one between me and my co-workers.

I also don’t share my sex life with those people. I’m not ashamed of it, nor is there anything wrong with me having sex or in who I’m having sex with. But that’s MY business. That’s my personal life. Not my mom’s. Not (some of) my friends. And certainly not my coworkers.

Parents and authority figures are also not gatekeepers of morality. My parents have come a long way and I’m proud of them, but there was a time when they were very conservative and homophobic.

I could have shown them the most vanilla f/f or m/m stuff I was reading and they still would have been HORRIFIED. That doesn’t make me or the material I was reading immoral, and to imply that it would be because of my parents reaction is all kinds of unhealthy and downright cruel

People don’t have to be open books to be moral. Someone not wanting to share very personal things about themself or the media they consume isn’t indicative of any kind of personal failing or immorality. And it is so, so unhealthy and downright dangerous to imply otherwise.

You risk forcing people to out very personal things about themselves in order to prove their innocence or morality. People have felt forced to reveal very traumatic stuff about their past on this site just to prove they’re somehow “worthy” or whatever to a bunch of strangers

Or it forces people to out themselves to people who, for their own well being, they should not share certain things with. Again, homophobic parents exist, and you put real queer people in danger if you imply they should be an open book to these people

On top of that, saying “if it’s not bad why don’t you share it with ___?” encourages a breakdown of some pretty important boundaries.
You know who loves to break down those kinds of boundaries?
Actual predators.

Implying that people should be willing to share anything with anyone or else they’re probably “immoral freaks” really opens a door for real abusers to step in and take advantage of people and if you care about victims as much as you claim to, then you’d understand this