I just woke up and the first thing I did was immediately forget I was fasting, reach over to my bedside table for my water bottle, and then remember just in time
the ridiculous amount of food I ate only five hours ago naturally feels like another lifetime. it& #39;s always like this for me on the first day. by the end of the month, I won& #39;t even notice the time passing, but today? the longest day of the YEAR.
I remember being a kid and around asr time, when my parents would start cooking for iftar, the smell of food would drive me mad! and then I grew up and started cooking my own iftar meals and realised it& #39;s so, so much worse when you& #39;re the one doing the cooking. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">
one thing I& #39;ve always tried to do is not to forget how special and magical ramadan felt for me as a child. as an adult, it becomes a duty, but I think it should also feel like something beautiful and special, the way it does when you& #39;re little.
your first sahr as a child, when you& #39;re actually allowed to get up early in the morning (way after your bedtime/before wake-up time!) and eat with your family, maybe fast for a half-day on weekends, is the most exciting thing, like finally getting into a secret club.
3AM feels exciting as a kid! it has something of the forbidden about it. usually your parents would send you to bed, but now you& #39;re awake and it& #39;s for *religion* so nobody can send you back to bed! and there& #39;s special food, things your parents don& #39;t usually cook otherwise.
you sit at the table wide awake (you& #39;re not yet old enough to feel sleepy, and you& #39;re too excited anyway) and get to listen to soft adult talk around you (your parents are unfortunately old enough to feel very sleepy) and eat until you& #39;re going to burst.
it feels like a holiday every day - which it is, in a sense! special bedtimes and special foods and visits from friends. even the extra prayers make it feel like a holiday, because there isn& #39;t a muslim holiday that doesn& #39;t involve lots of praying.
that feeling of wonder and awe and being included in something big - I feel like it shouldn& #39;t leave us as we get older. naturally ramadan when you& #39;re five and ramadan when you& #39;re fifty are very different. but the awe, the joy, I think that& #39;s so important.
I hope my first sahr of the year feels special every year. I hope I never get tired of being a part of something bigger than me. I hope ramadan never stops feeling like a holiday. it& #39;s been many years since my first one, and alhamdulillah, I haven& #39;t lost my sense of wonder yet.
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