Pandemic Confession:
I think some people think because I frequently write and talk very openly and candidly and positively about sex -- and because I'm heavily tattooed -- that when it comes to sex, I'm a filthy pig but (1/10)
I think some people think because I frequently write and talk very openly and candidly and positively about sex -- and because I'm heavily tattooed -- that when it comes to sex, I'm a filthy pig but (1/10)
-- surprise! -- my tastes actually run ridiculously vanilla but when I moved to New York City almost 20 years ago, I had only had one boyfriend and I wanted to experience whatever I could (safely) experience, so I said "yes" to whatever I could say "yes" to and (2/10)
I met a lot of men and I tried a bunch of things and one day I met a guy online who was the president of a very well known non-profit and he asked if I'd come to his apartment and pee on him and I had never peed on anyone before, much less someone who seemed famous, (3/10)
and peeing on people -- and piss play in general -- didn't seem like anything I'd be interested in but I was curious and I thought, "why not?" but I warned him that I was incredibly pee shy and I worried I wouldn't be able to do it even if I wanted to but he told me to (4/10)
just drink a ton of water and then come over, so I chugged almost two gallons of water and by the time I got to his apartment, I thought I was going to explode and the door was open and I found him sitting naked (and very excited) in his bathtub and I got naked and I (5/10)
went to pee on him but I just couldn't -- my body refused to let me pee even though I thought I was going to die if I couldn't relieve myself and he told me to stand at the toilet and pretend like I was going to "trick my mind" into letting me pee but (6/10)
it didn't work, so then he told me run some warm water over my wrist to try and trigger myself but that didn't work either and 15 minutes later I still hadn't peed and my bladder was ON FIRE and I apologized and quickly put my clothes back on and I (7/10)
ran across the street and just barely made it into a McDonald's bathroom before I pissed my jeans and then I literally peed for what must have been three minutes and I've still never been able to pee on anyone and I still don't think it'd do anything for me and (8/10)
at this point I think I'm past the point where I really care about finding out but who knows what the future has in store for me and maybe five years from now I'll be an insanely rich and famous urine influencer and you will all say (9/10)
"remember when you couldn't even bring yourself to pee on that sweet, mild mannered guy in that bathtub? Look at you now!" and I'll look but I won't recognize myself anymore but I'll be so flush with piss cash that I won't even care (10/10)