Guess today is that day LMAO. I'll keep the whole thing in this thread.

Warning: this isn't a light topic and may have some triggering things in it, so read at your own discretion!

I also want to add, please don't judge me for my past but for who I am now. I've changed a lot https://twitter.com/deepfriedkatsu/status/1253710075543289856

To begin with, I'll give some background context. I'll try and make everything as concise as possible but I suck at that!

I went to an all boys school just outside of London and the town I lived in was heavily divided between groups of white people and POC/ethnic minorities.

My school was also very diverse, you had English, Indians, Pakistanis, Tamils, Somalis, Nigerians, Ghanaians, Chinese, Germans, Spaniards and Polish people as the main ethnic groups with at least 5 people in every year group.

Ages ranged all the way from 11 to 18 years old.

At the top was 6th form 17-18 year olds (in the UK this is also called college but it's not university/college like in the US) and a lot of them were tied to gangs either by family or just through friends who had graduated or got kicked out for failing to get into the 6th form.

There were 3 gangs that had very deep ties into my school. The White Defense League (WDL) which spawned from the English Defense League (EDL) political group. Basically a modern day KKK in England.

The Sutras (Su) which consisted of majority Indian and some Pakistani people.

And the Yute Lungs (YL) which consisted of people from everywhere, European, African, Middle-Eastern, Asian, Oriental Asian heritage.

I'll explain the names later (if I remember to do so)

My best friend Minesh who I knew since primary school, had two older brothers in YL.

I made some bad choices and also ended up being part of YL when I turned 15.

Up till then, since my childhood I had no idea any of this stuff was going on behind the scenes.

There had been a very long feud between White Defense League and Sutra stemming the course of many years which finally hit boiling point when I entered Year 10.

For several months there was a lot of gang-related fights instigated by racial discrimination.

WDL always had a huge group and thinking back on it now it really is so disheartening that there were so many closet racists and kids who got brainwashed into being anti-White.

Many school friends included, which sucks. But it's England, not surprising in this day and age.

That aside, when it came to gang violence Sutra would almost always lose outside out due to the disparity in numbers and this is where Yute Lung comes in.

YL was a neutral group and mainly dealt in selling drugs and even sex, rather than partaking in violence.

Gonna explain it now otherwise I'll forget but the name Yute Lung was meant to symbolise "Youthful Life".

They had the attitude that being young means you can get away with anything. It was a very toxic and manipulative gang despite not getting into any violent activities.

Yute Lung wanted to see WDL crumble because they wanted to control the local drug dealing. WDL had a big hold on selling drugs to European immigrants.

WDL would also instigate hate for the local European immigrants with this process of feeding drugs into their communities.

Sutra and Yute Lung eventually formed an alliance to try and wipe out WDL and prevent their group from functioning.

Minesh (my best friend) had long been a part of Yute Lung already and was even distributing LSD + heroin in our school. I was oblivious to all of it...

He was labelled as a "cool kid" too meaning a lot of people trusted him, even older by kids older than us. We spent a lot of time playing at each others houses growing up and my parents were also very fond of him (he was a very smart kid too).

I feel his parents also liked me too and I was also quite close to his two older brothers, Suraj (25) and Akshay (21).

Even though I felt close at the time I actually knew nothing and honestly it's why I still have trust issues with people to this day.

Moving on, I should also paint the picture of my friend group which consisted of myself, Minesh, Abbas and Fraz (both Arabic) and Aleks (Polish) and Mo (Somali). (All weebs too btw).

Abbas, Fraz and Aleks had been part of YL since year 8 (13 years old) and they had already partaken in activities such as vandalism and "petty" theft.

Mo and I were never included probably because we were too "pure".

Back to YL and Su joining together. The two gangs were deadly serious about quashing WDL so they wanted as many people as possible. Eventually Minesh approached Mo and I about joining.

He came clean about all the gang stuff, what was going on behind the scenes and tried to sell it off to us as a thrill in life. Mo was on board NO HESITATION, even though it was haram he really wanted to have sex.

Conversely I was completely against it because I was terrified of getting persecuted by my parents. If they'd find out I even talked about this kind of stuff I would have got multiple lashes of the belt.

Gradually as time passed I could sense I was getting pushed out of the friend group and eventually I'd see on facebook that they'd be hanging out without me.

That shit HURT so bad.

So, like the dumbass I was, I approached Minesh and told him I was down to join YL. He told me I wasn't cut out for it but I pleaded my way through cause I was sick of being lonely. I was fkn miserable.

He eventually said okay under one condition, that I had to vandalise my neighbours' car.

I was already emotionally fked up and I didn't even hesitate and said I'd do it (and I liked my neighbours too).

Stupidness I know.

The night where I was to graffiti over my neighbours' car came and Suraj, Akshay and Minesh were all there to supply me with the spray cans and test if I had the balls to go through with it.

I was so desperate to not be alone so it wasn't even a problem for me.

Being the child that I was, I graffitied dicks all over the car.

The three brothers ate that all up and LOVED IT.

They celebrated me like a mf hero and I won't lie it felt amazing to feel appreciated like that again. Suraj even said he missed having me around.

After that I entered YL and took part in petty stuff like vandalism and theft. I was never included in drug deals but I did end up losing my virginity to a 20 year old also in the circle (I was 16 by then).

I was so excited to lose my virginity but it was a terrible experience.

YL and Sutra by this point were essentially a united front.

Fastforward and we start taking exams to get into 6th form. If you didn't get high enough grades you got kicked out of our school. All of us passed except for Aleks.
This was a massive problem for him and his family.

My school was one with free school meals/tuition. Aleks' family couldn't afford to pay for a new education.

To make ends meet he started stealing from the gang. Eventually he got busted and had the living shit pummelled out of him.

I was forced to take part in it too.

He was kicked out of the gang and they threatened him so that he'd never reveal any secrets.

This was the first time I lost a friend - a really important one too - and it broke my heart.

It's still something I regret to this very day.

Eventually guilt started eating away at me and I asked Minesh to get me out.

As you can expect he and his brothers did not take kindly to this. It was ride or die.

By 17 years old and now in 6th form I was constantly paranoid and my grades were dropping.

By the time I realised it I had simply become an errand boy and a lapdog.

I reached out to Aleks but he didn't forgive me and simply shunned me too, telling me to kms.

But I was given a chance to pick myself back up.

Suraj wanted me to sell drugs to some Japanese and Chinese overseas students he had come into contact with. These people were swimming in $$$.

I was able to use Japanese and basic Chinese so he wanted me to milk them for money. I said yes but only under a certain condition.

I told him that he has to get Aleks back in.

I felt so guilty ever since the day we beat him up and I just wanted my friend group back together. I was so fkn stupid. But to my surprise Suraj was ok with it.

I guess he really needed the money.

I contacted Aleks and asked him to come back and told him about what was going down.

He rejected me and said he wanted nothing to with us anymore. That was one of the toughest things to hear but I gave up and let it go.

Then came the day of my first time selling drugs.

Suraj and around 3 others gang members in their 20s gathered near the location (a huge park). I was alone and being watched by them to see if I could close the deal.

The buyers turned up and they were honestly nothing like I imagined. Dressed in head to toe in branded clothing..

Either way they happily paid the money and even tipped me £20 for trying my best with my crappy Chinese.

After they left, Suraj and co. came out to celebrate me closing the deal.

Then things went from 0 to 100.

The police arrived out of nowhere and arrested all of us. Suraj and the 3 others were all carrying knives and got separated from me.

I was genuinely shitting myself.

ALL MY REGRETS STARTED COMING BACK TO ME.

MY LIFE WAS ABOUT TO BE OVER BECAUSE I JUST WANTED FRIENDS.

At the police station they told me how they received reports of criminal gang activity and that a deal was going down.

The only person I had told about the deal, was Aleks. Not even Minesh knew about this.

MY HEART SANK. BUT I TRULY BELIEVED IN THAT MOMENT THAT THIS WAS KARMA.

They started showing me photos of people and telling me to identify them.

They said because I wasn't carrying any weapons and because I was under 18 I could even be cleared of all charges if I co-operated.

YOU BET I SNITCHED.

They could all eat dust for all I cared at that point.

All the mental and emotional abuse the gang members put me through. Fuck them.

Again I truly felt KARMA. This time it was on MY SIDE. I've never done drugs before but in that moment I entered the HIGHEST HIGH.

I had to however be kept in a cell overnight and my parents were to be contacted.

I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT AND PASSED OUT.

My parent's disappointment and anger were worse than death.

When I woke up I was sweating, drenched in COLD SWEAT. My eyes were stinging and my head was ringing. I wanted to puke and cease to exist.

When I finally came to my senses I realised it was all just a dream. The end.