The live tweets about my Uncle’s Zoom wedding start here. https://twitter.com/nylathemusical/status/1253715083202617353

It’s 12:44. The wedding starts at 1pm. My uncle told people to log in at 12:30 which was a good call bc:

1. Niggas
2. Most of these folx are older and don’t really know how Zoom works.

It’s 12:51

The pastor keeps muting everyone. They keep unmutibg themselves somehow. Someone is watching the news in the background. Someone else is ordering food at a drive through.

Everyone is typing their well wishes in the chat even though the bride and groom can’t see them.

My grandmother keeps checking her face in the camera

The Zoom session is now being recorded.

There are 65 people logged on.

Someone has let their small child hold their phone. We are getting a grand tour of this person’s house

I don’t know who Leslie is, but I really like her bathrobe!

It’s 1:01.

We haven’t started yet.

My uncle just appeared on screen. They have a Pinterest photo of a chapel as their background. He has on a blsck suit and an electric blue bow tie. His fiancé has on a cobalt blue dress.

The pastor is in a separate location. We just prayed. Someone named Willie has accidentally started sharing their screen.

This is a pastor my family has never used, from a church my family has never attended. Who is this man?

“Your wife will find all her wisdom from her husband”

Lawd. The patriarchy.

“Love is to give to someone at the expense of yourself”. Sksksksksksks NAH

The pastor has someone recording him on a cell phone and they keep walking through the shot.

Some Black man on here is sitting here with his white wife. She kinda look like Fergie.

Fergie is crying lol

My cousin Hope has already started drinking. She toasting with a blue solo cup

Lawd Hope is drunk as hell. She pouring libations though. I can’t be mad at that

Not taking communion on Zoom! I was supposed to bring bread?!

My grandmother is unimpressed.

Wooo my cousin Jessica is HOLLERING at her kids. I can’t hear it but I see it.

Tine to pour the unity sand. The bride and groom are arguing because my uncle didn’t pour enough.

Now they are pouring the sand together. The pastor: “yeah baby put that sand! Pour it! Pour it!”

The pastor presented them as husband and wife and pronounced our family last name incorrectly.

Now the pastor has asked everyone to give God praise. If these niggas get slain in the Spirit on Zoom I swear

Ok they logged off. Theys married now lol