Okay so something I'm learning: there will be good days of productivity and Zoom and work, and there will be days where you don't want to get out of bed, and the trick is to accept that those bad days will happen no matter what so you don't feel completely devastated when they do

I'll have two good days in a row and feel like yeah I've got this pandemic thing on lock, I'm good, life is manageable. And then boom, one rainy day and it's existential dread about how my life is slipping away like sands in the hourglass.

I keep looking for the solve-- the bike ride, the morning shower, the wearing jeans, the combing my hair. But there's no magic solution so! You cannot stop the tides of dread, you must simply ride them out until they drift out back to sea! They will be back, but they will leave

It's always darkest before the dawn! When there was only one pair of footprints, He was carrying me! etc etc let's just keep going.