There’s an old joke, told by chemists, physicists, pharmacologists, nutritionists, STEM people of all types.

It’s about the threat of Dihydrogen Monoxide.

THREAD

The dangers of dihydrogen monoxide were first exposed by a local paper in Durand, Michigan in 1983.

From the paper:

“It is also known as hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain and contributes to the "greenhouse effect".

“It may cause severe burns. It contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape, accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
It may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of car brakes and it has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.”

“Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used as an industrial solvent and coolant in nuclear power plants, the production of styrofoam, as a fire retardant, in many forms of cruel animal research and in the distribution of pesticides.”

“Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical and as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.”

Comment below if you get the joke.

Di-hydrogen -> mon-oxide

Two hydrogen atoms, one oxygen.

H2O.

Water.

Duh.

The core of the joke is about naming conventions of chemists.

All matter is made out of chemicals, of course, but certain chemicals (like water) have common, well established names used by everyone.

Chemists, who make new chemicals for a living, can’t do that.

Chemists can look at a word like, for example, “hydroxychloroquine” and know that every phoneme in that word indicates something about its atomic structure.

They see “C18H26ClN3O” in that word.

The average person sees that and reads, “medicine, who cares what it does?”

This isn’t the average person’s fault - English is a tiered language.

Has been since French speaking nobles conquered Anglo Saxon speaking peasants in 1066.

Added another tier in the Enlightenment, when the educated added words from Greek and Latin.

English has lexical triplets. Ex:

Old English: fire, kingly, holy
Norman French: flame, royal, sacred
Modern Latin: inflagration, regal, sanctified

Same meaning, different root words.

Blame it on peasants killing animals they called “pigs” for nobles who called them “porque.”

You see this all over English. It’s why “foie gras” sounds more appetizing than “goose liver”, or why “quesadilla” sounds more festive than “grilled cheese sandwich.”

“Rabbi,” “Guru,” and “Sensei” all mean “teacher,” but because cuz they all came to English through other ways...

...they have very different meanings when used.

It’s a classic failure of communication built into the language itself.

We have a Greek and Latin speaking educated class trying to talk to an English speaking population.

Because in the 1700s we were run by Classics nerds.

The awful thing is that so many people know this, and use that ambiguity to push lies.

How many people have ruined their bodies with “herbal colon cleansers” that were just spiced laxatives?

It’s created a culture where people will look at the name of a drug and not see the actual makeup of the drug you’re taking, but rather what the drug is advertised as doing.

Not what it *does* mind you - what it’s marketers *say* it does.

And here we are.

Anyway, learn English. Even the parts of English that aren’t English. Especially those.

Cause if you don’t you’ll die when some moron convinces you to drink bleach to cure a virus.

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