Yesterday I made a tweet about describing how easy it was for me to get top surgery without a therapist or physician’s letter so I decided to make a thread on how easy it was for me to get testosterone. (1/)

I realized I was trans when I was 14 when I found an ideology that offered me an explanation for why I was depressed and why I always felt different. I wanted to see a gender therapist so I found one on my own but I didn’t tell my mom what I was going there for. (2/)

My mother drove me across town every week to see this gender therapist without knowing what I was really going for. At just 14 years old with no parent present, I was (3/)

verbally briefed about the effects of T and told about top surgery and the types of bottom surgery I could get. She discussed egg harvesting if I wanted to have children of my own in the future but still transition. (4/)

At the time I didn’t want any of these things immediately but I remember thinking how simple and easy it would be to change my sex. (5/)

After a two hour intake session, she had determined that I was transgender and that she was willing to write me a letter for hormones and eventually surgery for a fee. My mother knew about none of this. My gender therapist helped me keep it a secret. (6/)

There isn’t a lot of trans affirmative care in my area so other clients would drive hours to go see her. She once bragged about how cool it was that she had at least one transgender client at every high school in my school district. (7/)

Anyways, when I came out to my mom a few months after I started seeing the therapist and my mom reacted badly. I revealed to her who my therapist actually was and told her I had been planning my transition for months without her knowledge. (8/)

My mom still continued to take me to this therapist because she wanted me to be happy even though she strongly disagreed and would constantly tell me how she felt tricked. This would destroy my relationship with my mother for the next four years. (9/)

I eventually found myself dreading these sessions because of how unprofessional she was. She was also a terrible therapist in general who talked a lot about her own personal life growing up. (10/)

I decided to stop seeing the therapist because of how terrible and unprofessional she was. I halted my plans to transition out of shame and embarrassment over what people thought of me. I struggled with intense gender dysphoria but I still wanted to be seen as just normal. (11/)

3 years later I became depressed when I graduated. I developed an ED and hated every part of my body and personality. I felt stupid and ugly. I wanted a flat chest so bad bc of sex dysphoria but also because I thought my breasts made me look fat and disgusting. (12/)

I thought T and living as a male would fix everything bc that’s what I was told for years. I emailed that old therapist and asked her to write me a letter for T. She had moved her practice to a different town so she set up a Zoom meeting for me to update her on my life. (13/)

Never were any possible causes of dysphoria such as low self-esteem, childhood abuse and neglect, repeated sexual harassment and abuse, and my eating disorder were inquired about or discussed. (14/)

She wrote me the letter even though she did not have any other documented evidence of my dysphoria for over 2 years. My mom didn’t want to let me start HRT, but I cried and begged and screamed for weeks. I bullied her into saying yes. (15/)

I went to the lone HRT doctor in my area. She only opened it to look for the signature at the bottom, but did not fully read it. She told my parents that HRT would fix all of my depression and anxiety and that I probably wouldn’t need to take my mood stabilizers anymore. (16/)

She prescribed T to me in just two weeks after blood tests. I would then go on to take it from 9/2016-3/2020. (17/)

I wish my ED and self-esteem and history of abuse had been discussed. I wish I had been told that there were ways to manage sex dysphoria other than medical transition. I wish that my trauma growing up had been prioritized and explored in therapy. (18/)

Looking back on all of this makes me physically sick. I feel duped and tricked by trans ideology. I feel failed by the medical professionals who never questioned my motives for transition or causes of dysphoria. (19/)

I’m appalled by all of this and don’t want what happened to me to happen to any other vulnerable young girls. (20/)

That being said, I’ve been off T for almost a month now. Maybe I’ll make more threads about the rest of my transition and why I decided to detransition. Thank you for reading if you made it this far. (21/)

Here is a tweet that I made yesterday that made me want to make this thread https://twitter.com/genderobjector/status/1253426804754223106?s=21 https://twitter.com/genderobjector/status/1253426804754223106

I also want to make clear that I do not necessarily regret going on T. I’m mostly indifferent to the changes my body went through and I don’t have reverse dysphoria. I am horrified how easily it was for me to alter my body without consideration of other factors.

I am horrified that informed consent isn’t really informed and that I didn’t truly consent to anything under these circumstances. Especially in regards to the top surgery I had which is even worse of a story than this one.