April is when TWO of my books were originally published: THE DEFIANT HEIR and THE UNBOUND EMPIRE, books 2 & 3 in Swords & Fire. I can& #39;t believe that they& #39;re now 2 and 1 year(s) old! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿฅณ" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐ŸŽ‚" title="Birthday cake" aria-label="Emoji: Birthday cake">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ“˜" title="Blue book" aria-label="Emoji: Blue book">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ“•" title="Closed book" aria-label="Emoji: Closed book">

So hey! Here& #39;s a thread about what it was like writing my 2nd & 3rd published books!
Spoiler: It was REALLY SUPER DIFFERENT than writing my first published book. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜‚" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

Some of the ways it was different were predictable: I was working with an editor from the start, I had deadlines, etc. It was suddenly a job instead of a hobby (one I loved, but a responsibility).
But one thing I didn& #39;t anticipate was HOW MUCH MORE TERRIFYING it would be. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜‚" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

Now I had readers. A wonderful agent. A whole team of amazing publishing folks behind me who believed in me.

I had people to disappoint. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜ฑ" title="Face screaming in fear" aria-label="Emoji: Face screaming in fear">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜ฑ" title="Face screaming in fear" aria-label="Emoji: Face screaming in fear">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜ฑ" title="Face screaming in fear" aria-label="Emoji: Face screaming in fear">
Believe it or not, I never used to worry that my writing might be terrible! (Even when it was. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜…" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">) I was pretty proud of it, if always happy to try to make it even better.

Now...Now I had people awaiting my next book with HIGH EXPECTATIONS. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜ฑ" title="Face screaming in fear" aria-label="Emoji: Face screaming in fear">
I had a team counting on me. Readers counting on me. I COULDN& #39;T LET THEM DOWN.

This, of course, led to me thinking way too much about what other people would think about my book. What if Book 2 was too much like Book 1? What if it wasn& #39;t ENOUGH like Book 1?
When I was 95% of the way through a draft of TDH, I had a total failure of confidence and sent it to some friends for a sanity check.

I& #39;d lost all confidence in my planned ending. I was worried a key new character I& #39;d introduced was no good. I was afraid the whole book sucked.
Thank goodness for those beta readers. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="โค๏ธ" title="Red heart" aria-label="Emoji: Red heart"> After the sanity check, I went with more or less the original planned ending, and that character (Kathe) has turned out to be a reader favorite. (Whew!)
When the book came out, almost everyone seemed to think it was better than the first (and now I agree). HUGE RELIEF.

But then I was writing/editing Book 3 while people were reacting to books 1 & 2, and I had a whole new set of worries!
I had to decide how to end the trilogy. Endings are SO IMPORTANT to a story, and I felt this HUGE pressure not to mess it up. To do it right, and stick the landing.
And okay, no spoilers, but let& #39;s just say it& #39;s a rare trilogy that ends without anyone getting hurt.

When you& #39;ve got readers going "Nothing bad had better happen to my beloved fave" as you& #39;re writing terrible things happening to their beloved fave, there& #39;s a moment of...https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜…" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">
Once again, I started doubting and second-guessing myself. Once again, I was terrified I was messing up, ruining everything.

Luckily, I had the experience of TDH to console myself with...if I worried that that sucked, too, then maybe I was just freaking out for no reason. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜‚" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
It all came down to that line from Neil Gaiman& #39;s wonderful picture book, INSTRUCTIONS: "Trust your story."

I did. Even when I was short on faith in myself as a writer, I trusted my story.

Now that I& #39;ve got some distance on it, I think I stuck the landing. (Again: WHEW.)
Now I& #39;ve figured out that this big wave of near-crippling self doubt and panic is apparently...part of my process?

It& #39;s weird, because it was TOTALLY not before. All through the years of querying and hundreds of rejections, I had confidence in my writing, and NOW I get this?! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜‚" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
Like, apparently my writer ego can not only survive, but THRIVE on years of crushing rejection or stony publishing silence!

But have someone be like "OMG I loved your book and I can& #39;t wait for the next one!" and I& #39;m like OH SHIT I CAN& #39;T FAIL THEM WHAT DO I DO https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜ฑ" title="Face screaming in fear" aria-label="Emoji: Face screaming in fear">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜‚" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
Anyway, suffice to say that starting the first book of a NEW trilogy comes with its own all-new special set of crushing insecurities, but thanks to my experiences with TDH & TUE I feel more confident in ignoring them and getting on with it. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="๐Ÿ˜" title="Grinning face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Grinning face with smiling eyes">
So hey, if you& #39;re doubting your writing, don& #39;t let it stop you. Get that sanity check if you need it. Take a break for perspective if you need it. Keep editing that book into better shape. But trust your story.

It won& #39;t let you down.
You can follow @melisscaru.
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