I have 2 frames for understanding this period of isolation: “sit in your cell & your cell will teach you all” a la Abba Moses on the one hand, and exilic wandering in the wilderness on the other. they’re sort of co-existing even though they feel in tension. it has me thinking...

there was a homily in Lent from St Bart’s, Regent Park, that talked about this being monasticism thrust upon us. I flirted with monasticism from childhood (to my Reformed parents’ horror), but I think maybe in my enamorment I’ve missed the coincidence of cloister & exile in it...

the Desert Fathers & Mothers didn’t think of it as “white martyrdom” for no reason. I’m realizing how enclosure (whether strictly eremetic or more communal) is indeed an exile, even as it is an opportunity of rich spiritual growth and perhaps even deep consolation & communion...

the romanticization of religious life I’m prone to, as well as the radically different appearance of contemporary monasticism from earlier forms probably distracts me from the inherent exilic nature of monastic life. journeying in the wilderness & staying in your cell overlap...

so as I think about this time when we’re forced to live a sort of vitiated version of monasticism in our own homes, and as I consider the vow of stability that Julian oblates make, I think I want to focus more on bringing the pain of exile into my cell & marrying the two somehow.